Rape and sexual abuse survivors - Dancing In The Darkness resource for rape and sexual abuse survivors. help and support for rape and sexual abuse survivors
rape and sexual abuse survivors share their thoughts rape is NEVER your fault aftermath of rape and sexual abuse
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Date Rape

Date Rape

In many cases of rape and sexual abuse, the predator is a man the woman is dating. This is commonly called Date Rape or Aquaintance Rape. These are the most common type of rape committed.

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Dancing in the Darkness
I was 13 years old when my life was changed forever. It was a fall day and I was walking home from the school bus stop. I got home, went inside, and fixed a snack. I heard a knock at the door and looked out the peephole. It was my 17 year old neighbor *Eddie*. I opened the door and asked him what’s up. He asked if he could borrow a cup of sugar. I said sure and went into the kitchen after letting him in. I was in the kitchen getting the sugar and went back to the door where he was standing. He grabbed my arm and looked at me and said I came for something else instead. With that he pushed me onto the carpet and kicked me in the stomach. Then he grabbed me by the hair and slammed my head into the floor like five times yelling at me “you are a whore why can’t you just die?” I passed out as he was still beating on me. When I woke up I kept my eyes closed and could feel that I was completely naked. * Eddie * was on top of me slashing at my breasts with a box cutter. I could feel the blood coming out and felt really weak and dizzy. He stopped and then he raped me and I started screaming in pain. He kept hitting me and stabbing me with his knife. He turned me over and anally raped me while stabbing me in the back. I finally passed out again. I came out of a coma two weeks later and I was in the hospital. I had almost died from the more than 20 stab wounds that I had along with a major concussion, 5 broken ribs and a punctured lung. I had to have my spleen removed and a kidney due to the attack. Apparently after he was finished he went home and attacked his mother before killing himself. Luckily for me my sister came home before I bled to death. I was lucky, the doctor said if I had been there 30mins more I would have died. I spent nearly 2 months in the hospital recovering from my injuries. It’s four years later and I still suffer greatly from the emotional and physical damage that has been done but I am surviving. Thanks for letting me share…
by Ellieon 29 Nov 2004

My name is Renee', and I am here to let you all know that I too am a survivor of sexual abuse. My story began when I was 11 and ended when I was 12. When I was around 11 1/2 I became the victim of molestation. My abuser's name is Wayne Manedez. Wayne lived with my best friend's mother (he raped her) at the time. When I first met Wayne and got to know him , he became a friend in my eyes and every around him. I remember the first day it started, I went up stairs (we live in apartments) to visit my best friend. He was there alone and when I was in the house, that is when he made his move. First he started to tickle me, he tickled me so hard that I was on the floor laughing. When he stopped, he walked by the door and looked out the peep whole. When he came back he got on top of me. Then he got up and took me to his room and had me against the wall. At 11 I was a fast bloomer, and he took advantage of that. He had my back to the wall and he began to take my breast out of my bra and put his mouth on them. Then he put his tongue in my mouth. After that, he took his di*k out, pulled my shorts down, turned me around and roughly rubbed his di*k on my vagina. I couldn't tell to this day what was going through my mind. He didn't even use a condom. Sometimes he would go so fast that it would slip in, and that hurt. One time he tried to force himself on me, but I manage to make him get up. My abuse ended when I was 12. At 12 1/2, almost 13, I was put in a rehabilitation center, for my bad behavior. They put me on medications and assigned me to counselors. I was out there bad until I was 15. I was put in alternative school for 5 months, I was ok for me. After I was released back to public schools I was a normal child. I began reading stories like mine and becoming more and more interested in abuse stories.Today I am still in that rehab program. They think that something totally different is wrong with me, but they don't know the half of it. Now I am 19 yrs. old and surrounded by a huge loving family. None of my family knows about the abuse. I tried so many times to tell my mother, but something blocks it. I've only told five people. After the abuse Wayne visited my mother twice. A lot of people underestimate me, but I have so much anger built up inside me. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever tell my mother what happened to me. I'd be so afraid of what she may think. I know my mother won't stop loving me, its how she'll look at me. She may never look at me the same way again, that can scares the sh*t out of someone. As for Wayne, I will take every bit of anger out on him. I know he is still alive, when I find him I'll act like nothing ever happened. Then his judgment day will come. If anyone has any questions are comments email me.


by Renee'on 28 Nov 2004

My boyfriend right after graduation wanted to have sex but we were both virgins. His dad told me to have sex with his son so he could become a man. (He told me that when he sent my boyfriend to the store). One Friday night the dad kept giving me and my boyfriend wine coolers. My boyfriend passed out and I was so drunk and dizzy. The dad took me to his room and raped me. I tried to fight back but I was so dizzy. I passed out with him on top of me. When I woke up later my boyfriend was on top of me. I didn’t want to have sex until I was married. The father said I should thank him. Thankfully, they moved away. My high school friends are friends of him so I had to cut myself off and start over. I hate them because now I can’t trust anyone.
by Nancy on 27 Nov 2004

Hey people, I have already posted my story on here a few months ago. To all you that have been through total hell like me, please email me, I’m dealing with a lot right now and I know how hard it is to just hurt, not for a day, or a week, or a month, it never stops. Email me if you want to hear my story or if you are just dying for a friend during a crisis! I am almost 16 and I live in Indianapolis In. thinks
keeley
keeleydowell@cyourvision.com
by Keeleyon 26 Nov 2004

I am also one of the so called victims of sexual abuse. I have still not reached the point of looking at myself as a survivor. I was 12 years old when my abuse first started. My ex boyfriend used to hit me. He beat me up real bad a few times. But it started out with him hitting me because I wouldn't have sex with him. After a while he just started forcing me to have sex with him. He would have his friends force me to have sex with them. There would be times when he and his friends would have "parties" where they would just spend time raping me and beating me. I was his "trophy girl", the one he showed off to every one. The abuse just escalated to the point where I wouldn't even fight him anymore. I just gave in. There would be times when I really thought that I was going to die. This went on until I was almost 15, when he left me for a "better girl", someone who cared about him more, and "gave him what he really needed." I have never been back to that area or that house since. I still feel afraid that he might come back and hurt me if I ever told anyone. My parents don't know and just a few of my friends do. If anyone has any advice, my email is helzangel149@yahoo.com.
by ashleighon 26 Nov 2004

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This site is offered for support of other survivors, it is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. I don't have any qualifications or training in therapy, I am by no means a professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this web site, use of content, or content of any links leading from this site. If you are in a crisis situation I urge you to contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional.

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