My story is long but I will make it as short as I can. My parents became separated when I was just a toddler, and I never got to see my father. During that time I longed to have him back and to me it was a miracle when my parents got back together when I was eight. I became obsessed with being the perfect little girl because I thought it would make him not go away again. My mom worked nights at a bar, so it was easy for him when he came into my room at night to sexually abuse me, and I was so desperate for his love that I did whatever he wanted no matter how much I hated it. To me, he was a hero, and nothing could make me think badly of him. When I was twelve my parents divorced, and I told the judge I wanted to stay with my father, so he was given custody of me, with two weekends a month at my mother's house. My dad did not stay employed for long, and we were always very poor, now especially because my mom's income was gone. So he began to sell me. The first time, I had no idea what was happening. He dressed me up and put a bunch of make-up on my face and even on my nipples. He told me his friend was coming over for a visit. When the knock on the door came, he told me to answer it. The man on the other side gave me a quick kiss on the mouth and went to say some stuff to my father. I just sat on the couch, a bit confused, until my father told me to go into my bedroom. Soon the man opened the door and came inside and started talking to me. I just nodded at what he was saying and he started to take off my clothes. This was not my father so I did not feel any need to just let it happen and I started screaming and kicking. The man held me down easily and started tearing off my clothes. My father ran in and started yelling at me, but I didn't hear him over my own screams, so they both held me down and the man raped me. After I heard the man say that he wouldn't pay as much because he was told it would be easy. When he left, my dad beat me. It was the first and only time he had ever beat me. He withheld food and drink from me for two days saying that I had to make up the money he had lost because of me. As well, he started raping me himself. Up until that point, he had sexually abused me, but never gone so far as raping me. Now that I was no longer a virgin I was lessened in his eyes, and he began to call me a sl*t and a wh*re and that I wanted everything he did. Soon after, other men began to come, and I never fought them. I became this blank shell of a person. there were often slow periods, where my father had trouble finding buyers, and when that happened he would truss me up and take me "for a walk" in a seedy area of the city. Men, and even one woman, who would be interested, seemed to instinctively know what I was, and what my father was doing. I saw many transactions go through with almost no words being said. I very quickly turned to drugs and alcohol and became a huge mess of a little girl. The thing that would save me was the very thing that should have destroyed me. At age fifteen, I became pregnant. The father may have been my own father, or any one of the clients, I will never know. Many of my clients drifted away, not because they were turned off by pregnancy, quite the opposite, but because they were wary of being associated with a pregnant minor. With only a few buyers left, my father became angry and aggressive, but after eight months I gave birth to Samantha. Even after the birth, many clients did not return, and my father became worse. After a few months, I stood up for myself for the first time and refused to let a client rape me. They held me down and it happened anyway, but afterwards he punched Sam in one of his rages, causing me to take her to the hospital. When the nurses asked me how she was injured, I told them my father had hit her. When I was released, I went to my mother's to live, even though we had become very estranged. I took my father to court over his abuse of Sam, but because I didn't say a word of what happened to me, he got off very lightly. Soon after, I found out that when he punched Sam, he had rendered her almost completely deaf. I am twenty four now, and it has been eight years since the last time I was raped, but the hell is still alive in my head. Sometimes I see my father, or I think I see one of the men who raped me over the years, and I break down. But I feel that my story is an important one, because even today child prostitution is a topic people simply don't address, even on child sexual abuse web sites, but it still exists, and people need to be aware.
by Melodyon 8 Dec 2004
Well my story will be short. Okay this one time I was with my uncle and my auntie at home cause they were watching me and my brother. Then my auntie had to go somewhere so just me my uncle and my brother were there. I just played games and stayed away from him. Then he told my brother to go outside and play and so he did. Then he came into the room and shut the door. After he said to take off my clothes and I said no. Then he said okay then all of a suddden he started touching me and kissing me then we heard a door shut so he stopped and left. After he said tomorrow come over and play games but I said no and shut the door .But I never told my mom or my dad or anyone.
by ally on 8 Dec 2004
I was 14 when I was raped and I am now 19 and have not told anyone about it ever. The guy was a 17 year old friend of a friend and he was a druggie and I had known that he had sex with numerous people but never thought anything of it. My friend and I have off of school that day and went over to his house. He and his friend were there and we hung out. I think some money got ripped somehow and he wanted me to come upstairs with him to his room to tape it. I went with him and then he began kissing me and then pulling down my pants. As he held me down and went in me I told him "I don't want to do this." He said some thing like "tell me to stop if it hurts." I immediately said stop but he just smiled and kept going. I didn't know what to do afterwards. I just acted like nothing happened even though I haven't been the same person since. I feel like my innocence had been robbed from me and I am 100% positive that I have at least 1 STD (if not more that I don't know of) and of course it is one of the incurable ones that I will have to deal with for the rest of my life. I am afraid to see anyone about it because seeing things in writing will only make matters worse even though I know it would be best for my health. I am afraid to trust guys and afraid of being intimate because of my STD. Everyday I remind myself that I cannot have a boyfriend or get married or even have kids because of it. I am sick of avoiding relationships and intimacy because of it and I don't think I will ever fully trust a guy. I kind of feel like a man-hater because of it and am definitely more of a negative person in general than I used to be or would have been if this hadn't happened. Thanks for listening...
by Lisaon 8 Dec 2004
I've never been raped but when I was in Jr. High I was a bit more "developed" tham other girls. I was completely flat in 7th grade and by 8th grade I was well bigger...but anyways. This guy named *Kyle* started rumors about my chest syaing I was wearing a water bra. And one time he tried popping it and it just made me cry. I've never really told anyone, just mainy my closest friends. After the rumor, guys would come up to me and ask things like "do you wear a water bra? why do you wear a water bra?" It hurt me so badly. I never told me parents...and now I just feel guilty. The rumors started to cool down after Christmas and pretty soon everyone forgot about it. Now I'm in High School, and well we aren't friends but he talks to me...nicely. It's just that sometimes I can't believe what he did to me. I don't think it even occurs to him how much it hurt me.
by Jamie on 8 Dec 2004
I was raped when I was 14. Iím now 15. This guy is walked up behind me when I was talking through our neighborhood (we live in the ghetto). He grabbed me and threw me over a fence. I then looked behind me and seen a man with a black bandana tied around hit head and a black one tied around his face. I ran as fast as I could, jump fences, but he chased me and caught me in his yard and slammed me into the house about 10 times. He dragged me by my legs to the basement or his house (outside door) and then threw me onto his bed. I think you all know what basically happened there :(
Then once he was done he said "damn you are such a wh*re loose b*tch" then he dragged me to the street naked and left me to lay there. Then he got really close to my face and I looked at his eyes. THEN I knew who he was, heís a boy I go to school with who goes by ace. Heís got one blue eye and one thatís like silver. Any ways he said "owned by the South Side Spades bitch" then he laughed and walked away. The next day at school I asked him why he did it, then he shoved me into the boyís bath room and did it again there :( Then he said keep away from me or you die got it? He held a gun to my head. I donít know what to do about this guy. Everyday he looks at me and smiles. I canít go to the police. I tried once, heís a high rank gangster dude his brother works for the FBI and all the charges were dropped. WHAT DO I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!???
by Katie on 6 Dec 2004
Prev | 1 | | 2 | | 3 | | 4 | | 5 | | 6 | | 7 | | 8 | | 9 | | 10 | | 11 | | 12 | | 13 | | 14 | | 15 | | 16 | | 17 | | 18 | | 19 | | 20 | | 21 | | 22 | | 23 | | 24 | | 25 | | 26 | | 27 | | 28 | | 29 | | 30 | | 31 | | 32 | | 33 | | 34 | | 35 | | 36 | | 37 | | 38 | | 39 | | 40 | | 41 | | 42 | | 43 | | 44 | | 45 | | 46 | | 47 | | 48 | | 49 | | 50 | | 51 | | 52 | | 53 | | 54 | | 55 | | 56 | | 57 | | 58 | | 59 | | 60 | | 61 | | 62 | | 63 | | 64 | | 65 | | 66 | | 67 | | 68 | | 69 | | 70 | | 71 | | 72 | | 73 | | 74 | | 75 | | 76 | | 77 | | 78 | | 79 | | 80 | | 81 | | 82 | | 83 | | 84 | | 85 | | 86 | | 87 | | 88 | | 89 | | 90 | | 91 | | 92 | | 93 | | 94 | | 95 | | 96 | | 97 | | 98 | | 99 | | 100 | | 101 | | 102 | | 103 | | 104 | | 105 | | 106 | | 107 | | 108 | | 109 | | 110 | | 111 | | 112 | | 113 | | 114 | | 115 | | 116 | | 117 | | 118 | | 119 | | 120 | | 121 | | 122 | | 123 | | 124 | | 125 | | 126 | | 127 | | 128 | | 129 | | 130 | | 131 | | 132 | | 133 | | 134 | | 135 | | 136 | | 137 | | 138 | | 139 | | 140 | | 141 | | 142 | | 143 | | 144 | | 145 | | 146 | | 147 | | 148 | | 149 | | 150 | | 151 | | 152 | Next
This site is offered for support of other survivors, it is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. I don't have any qualifications or training in therapy, I am by no means a professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this web site, use of content, or content of any links leading from this site. If you are in a crisis situation I urge you to contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional.