I have been reading these stories for some time now..and I think that you are all true survivors and that your not alone..I have never been raped but that is one of my biggest fears. Thank you for your time and i hope you will all be okay.
by Friend on 16 Dec 2004
I have to start off by saying that I am so glad I found this web site!
The sexual assult happened back in May. I was raped by my manager fom work.
He had transfered from another location and had been working there for a couple of weeks. During that time i got to know him and his wife, which also worked there. Myself and other co-workers would go to their apartment drink, eat and hang out after work.
One day while at work he asked me if I wanted to go play some pool after work, his wife was out of town for the night--i figured he didn't want to spend the evening alone so I told him yes.
I had this funny feeling and wanted to invite some other people cause i didn't feel all that comterble with him. He had made sexual comments to me before and would just stare at me sometimes.
I invited 3 other people, which only 1 showed up.
After work we went to his apatment where he got dressed and I began to drink.
To be honest with you the night is really fuzzy.
He bought me drink after drink and drugs were involved.
We stayed at that place till it closed. I remember searching for my keys-he pulled them out of his pocket.
I passed out in the car as he drove to his apartment. When we got there, I told him I would be sleeping on the couch to get me a blanket. He insisted I sleep on the bed. I told him again to get me a blanket.
I then fixed myself some leftover meat that was on the stove and some eggs-I was hungry!
This whole time I don't remember seeing him at all.
I then checked the couch for the blanket, no luck. I went to the bed room and hit the jack pot-there was a green blanket. Not really thinking I layed down and went to sleep on the bed.
Not sure how much time passed but I woke up to him fondleing me. I Pushed him away and told him to leave me alone.
I guess I passed out again cause I really don't remember anything but being able to feel him and I remember seeing his face, it was like a dream.
The next morning when I woke up I still had no clue what had happened until I pulled the blanket off and saw that I had nothing on from the waist down.
I found my cloths on the side of the bed. I could see him in the kitchen--I got dressed and left without saying a word.
On the way home I was really confused wrestleing with the idea of what happened.
I did go to the police, got the test done and all that good stuff. The process seems to be neverending, I am waiting for the day this can finally be put behind me.
Thanks to all for reading.
by monicaon 13 Dec 2004
I'm not sure my story belongs here, but I feel like I can't supress these feelings any longer. I have been wondering whether I have ever been sexually abused for about five years--since I was in 12. Over the years, these feelings have not subsided, they have only gotten worse. It started when I was at the movies one day with one of my friends. They showed a preview for this movie that I found to be somewhat disturbing. There was this scene from the movie they showed where a guy was slowly backing a girl against a wall, asking her to "let him hold her." The girl starts screaming...and that's all they showed of that part of the movie. When I saw that, I got this strange feeling in my stomach...it's very hard to describe, but I hate the way it feels. Ever since then, I'll get that feeling whenever I see on tv, or hear about sexual abuse. Sometimes when that feeling hits me really hard, I can sometimes feel it in my fingertips, and I sometimes find it hard to breathe. I've been seeing a therapist for some time now. My mom sent me because of my habbit of cutting. A few months went by before my therapist asked me if I had ever been sexually abused, and I repeatedly tell her no, but she keeps bringing it up. Whenever she mentions it my heart races and I just shut down. I don't want to talk about it with her, or anyone really, but I think it might be time to tell someone. I've been having these memories come back to me. I remember being in fifth grade, playing with my stuffed animals in a rather sexual way. I remember my mom telling me not to touch my baby brother when I was little...I was only four. I remember being six years old and undressing my younger cousin. I can't remember what happened, but the last thing was him running down the stairs crying. I quickly put my clothes back on just in time before my aunt (my cousin's mom) came up the stairs to ask me what happened. She was so mad, and I was so scared. I'm terrified of the possibility that I hurt him in any way. I love him so much, and I was just a little girl, I didn't know what I was doing. But then I wonder...if I really did do something to him...where did I learn it from? All these thoughts keep circling in my mind, and I feel like I'll go insane if I don't tell someone. If anyone out there would like to e-mail me and tell me what they think, I would greatly appreciate it. Everyone here has so much courage and strength, and I wish everyone the best. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this.
by Alyceon 12 Dec 2004
I had never thought I would be betrayed by a family member, ever but I was. When I was getting out of elementry and into middle school, my older brother started saying werid things to me and he was acting different towards to me. I didn't know how to receat and to this day I still don't understand why that happen to me. The sexual abuse when on for about a year or two, when I was in the seventh grade I finally told someone, and after I told someone,my world turned upside down because everyone that I thought would believe me, believed that my brother was an innocent person. To this day I am very frustrated with my mom and grandparents because they told me that I was a liar, until they went to court and found eviendecene that happen when he video taped me on the computer. I am also upset with my brother because I can't believe he would do something like that to me. To this day I try to go on living my life to the fullest and I just keep pushing people away. I want to be in a relationship but I am scared that I am going to push people away like I have been ever since what had happen. I need some help so that I don't keep pushing people away so I can be in a relationship with someone I want to be with and trust and I want to be with this guy I am talking to but I am so afraid that I will push him away, can anyone help me?
by Kimberlyon 10 Dec 2004
Sad to say the guy who took advantage of me was my husband best friend and my best-friendís best friend & kidís father. I recalled my family had just buried my uncle who died of cancer (Oct 04).My brother, sister & I went out to a nightclub with a few cousins from out of time, I don't do the clubbing thing but we decided if we go out we can kind of get our mind off of the tragedy we had gone through. So we had a few drinks in the club and it doesn't take much to get me tipsy so after the club I wanted to go home & my family was planning on going to eat breakfast afterwards, so *Dave*, who I have been knowing since elementary, said he would bring me home since he was going that way. Actually we were cool before he became best friend with my hubby and I friend with his babyís mom. We even went to our junior prom together only as friends; afterwards we went our separate ways. But any ways I got in the car with him and fell asleep on the way. Once I arrived home he said he couldnít find his cell phone so asked if he could use my house phone, I said alright, hurry up. Well we always clown and cuss each other out so I was like hurry up off my phone, once he hung up the phone he tried kissing me telling me things like he always loved me I was the one he wanted for his baby mom and he should've been the one I married instead of my husband (he was the best man in our wedding). He begin pulling my pants off, then he pulled his down, he said he knew it wasn't right but he had been wanting for me for so long that he had to have me. I begin crying telling him he knew it was not right and how devasted any of our companions would be if they found out. Once he entered me, he started saying how good it felt and how long he had been waiting, recto make a long story short Iím not a weak girl so I kept pushing him off & the last time I pushed him he landed on the floor & then he became the victim because I started beating him. Finally after he apologized over and over I slap the fu*k out of him and told him he just lost one of the closest friend he ever had. He still tries to call and offer me money and material things, but I don't want anything from him because he took something that was so good to me that money can't buy. I haven't told my husband or best friend, about it. I want to soooo bad but I don't know how to go about it or know if I should even do it. Can someone give me some advice on my situation!!!!!
by homie love a friendon 8 Dec 2004
Prev | 1 | | 2 | | 3 | | 4 | | 5 | | 6 | | 7 | | 8 | | 9 | | 10 | | 11 | | 12 | | 13 | | 14 | | 15 | | 16 | | 17 | | 18 | | 19 | | 20 | | 21 | | 22 | | 23 | | 24 | | 25 | | 26 | | 27 | | 28 | | 29 | | 30 | | 31 | | 32 | | 33 | | 34 | | 35 | | 36 | | 37 | | 38 | | 39 | | 40 | | 41 | | 42 | | 43 | | 44 | | 45 | | 46 | | 47 | | 48 | | 49 | | 50 | | 51 | | 52 | | 53 | | 54 | | 55 | | 56 | | 57 | | 58 | | 59 | | 60 | | 61 | | 62 | | 63 | | 64 | | 65 | | 66 | | 67 | | 68 | | 69 | | 70 | | 71 | | 72 | | 73 | | 74 | | 75 | | 76 | | 77 | | 78 | | 79 | | 80 | | 81 | | 82 | | 83 | | 84 | | 85 | | 86 | | 87 | | 88 | | 89 | | 90 | | 91 | | 92 | | 93 | | 94 | | 95 | | 96 | | 97 | | 98 | | 99 | | 100 | | 101 | | 102 | | 103 | | 104 | | 105 | | 106 | | 107 | | 108 | | 109 | | 110 | | 111 | | 112 | | 113 | | 114 | | 115 | | 116 | | 117 | | 118 | | 119 | | 120 | | 121 | | 122 | | 123 | | 124 | | 125 | | 126 | | 127 | | 128 | | 129 | | 130 | | 131 | | 132 | | 133 | | 134 | | 135 | | 136 | | 137 | | 138 | | 139 | | 140 | | 141 | | 142 | | 143 | | 144 | | 145 | | 146 | | 147 | | 148 | | 149 | | 150 | | 151 | | 152 | Next
This site is offered for support of other survivors, it is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. I don't have any qualifications or training in therapy, I am by no means a professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this web site, use of content, or content of any links leading from this site. If you are in a crisis situation I urge you to contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional.