Mark isn't my real name. I am too ashamed to reveal my true name
The molestation started when I was around 5-6. MY older cousin would always try to get me and my brothers attention. When he did, he would like rub his penis. One day, I went into his room [he was living with us]. I don't know what happened. He just started to have his pleasure. For some strange reason I enjoyed it. I really thought that this was right, but I was only a kid, I didn't know better. After that day, he came into my room and started to have pleasure with me. This went on for about 5 years. In between those lines, my cousins brother, started to notice me. I thought it was fine since I did it with his brother. First we started to kiss, then we had oral and anal.
After, my mom,dad,brother, and me moved out of that house.
But that didn't stop.
About 10 times a month, my cousin would come and visit. We would always go somewhere and have anal and oral sex. This was around 8 years old.
My cousins brother came the same time, and after I was done with my cousin, I would go to his brother.
When I was 11, I saw my brother [same age], sleeping and I saw pictures of my family. I started to cry. I didn't want my life to be the way it was.
After, I told my brother. I was so disgusted of myself. After I told my brother, he told me that they had done the same to him.
At 12, we finally grew enough courage and fought our cousins. We won. We told them that if you do that again, watch out.
About 3 months later, they died. Both of them died in a car accident.
Now that I think of it, I hate the person that I am now. I am so used to men, but I don't want to be. People think I am gay [ i have a lot of gay/lesbian friends, they are cool] but I am not gay. My cousins hurt me physically and mentally.
Now, I am 14, I haven't told family, but I told friends. They are supporting me. I am still recovering though.
Thanks for taking the time and reading my story...
I really thank you.
by Mark on 20 Dec 2005
When I was young, my parents used to leave me with a uncle, who is the youngest brother of my father. Once I remember that we were alone in my parents' house and he touched me. I was surprised, I did not do anything, and I have lived to feel guilty. Why I was not defended myself
by zafiroon 18 Dec 2005
I was 14 and my mother let me and my little brother stay the night at her ex-boyfriend mike's
house (they were still friends) so that she could have time alone with her new boyfriend. I was having so much fun with my brother and mike. My mother was very controlling and neglectful, and sometimes abusive, so I was more than glad to get away from her. We were all up late watching t.v. together when he told us that he would go make us a drink of kool-aid and then we had to take a shower and go to bed. He told my brother to go first so he took his, then I went up to take mine. When I came back down my brother was sleeping on the bunk bed mattress that we had brought for me to sleep on. I tried to wake him up because my mother specifically said I had to sleep on it (he lived in a house where the bedrooms were rented out to different people, so there was only one bed) but my brother wouldn't wake up. Mike told me to leave him alone and I could just sleep in the bed with him but I didn't want to so I kept trying to wake my brother up, but it didn't work. I just sat there in the dark watching t.v. with Mike and shortly after I started feeling really tired and dizzy. I think I must have blacked out a few times because I was just sitting there and the next thing I knew he was sitting on the floor with me on his lap facing him and he had my shirt off. I tried to ask him what he was doing but I couldn't talk, I was so tired. Then I woke up again and I was laying on the bed and he was squatting over me unwrapping a condom. I passed out again I guess, and didn't wake up again until the next morning. I was awoken by my mother's
current boyfriend knocking on the door (mike had apparently locked it) and mike jumped up to let him in. He started asking me why I was in mike's bed. I didn't say anything because I didn't know why or how I got there. He told my mom who was waiting in the car that I was in mike's bed
with no pants on so my mom spent the whole car ride home (about 40 minutes) accusing me of sleeping with mike and being a slut. I didn't say anything because I wasn't even sure what happened.
I kept thinking I must have dreamed it, but shortly after we got home I had to use the bathroom and it really hurt, and I noticed that I was bleeding a little, but I knew
my period was not supposed to come for another couple weeks. I realized that it had not been a dream.
He had drugged and raped me. I hate him for taking my virginity from me.
by sarahon 10 Dec 2005
Hi my name is Kirstin and I was raped/molested by my eldest brother for 9 years.
I remember my 4th birthday but not for reasons I would have liked. I remember getting a pretty pink bike. I was fast asleep and was woke by my eldest brother shaking me. He told me to be quiet we are going to play a game. He told me I had to keep as still and quiet. He then started kissing me, I remember the taste of toothpaste on his breath, this is a smell that would haunt me every day for the next 9 years of my life. Even after all this time I can't smell or taste toothpaste without feeling sick. That night like all the others he started with kissing me and feeling inside my pajama bottoms. All the time saying "good girl, your good at this game." He put his hand over my mouth and kept saying over and over "shhh" "shhhh." I had my hands over my face trying to cry quietly so I didn't make him angry. All I remember next is him on top of me. The pain I felt was unbearable. I screamed and he slapped me whilst carrying on. My mum couldn't have heard me or maybe I didn't scream. All I know is no one came and I was alone with the monster. He raped me for what seemed a long while then got off and ran out my room as quietly as he could.
Gradually I became very quiet and withdrawn. When I was 7 years old I stopped talking altogether. I didn't see the point in talking cause I was always told not to or to shut up! I suppose it kinda stuck. My parents first realized something was wrong and took me to the doctors. I cant remember what was said but I never went back.
I Felt lost and alone. I was stuck in my own silent world for the next 3 years whilst all the abuse continued.
by Kirstinon 9 Dec 2005
I was abused continually from as far back as I can remember by my father. It was emotional, physical, and sexual, often sadistic. My mother was battered by my father and didn't protect me. Neither of my parents worked most of my life. We were very poor, and we didn't have enough food to eat. My mother had cancer twice, when I was eight and later when I was fourteen. She died when I was fourteen. He had total control over me and my sister then. He raped me nights, sometimes he called out my mother's name during it. We were barely allowed out of the house, except to go to school. When I came back from college at age 18, he tied me up in the basement three nights in a row and beat me, and raped me on the 3rd night.
I have had over 12 years of therapy. I even sued my father after he inherited some money from his mother, and he settled before we went to court. I got money to finish my college education. I am doing very well, but right now I am dealing with the worst years, the constant rapes during my teenage years, the isolation, the loss of my mother. I feel like I am in a nightmare.
by luce on 9 Dec 2005
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