I'm 12 years old and got raped from 7 to 11 years old by my motherís boyfriend. I'm disguising myself because I don't want to get hurt by that man. If I tell my mom she won't believe me. I'm hurt still this day.
by ******** ******on 24 Jan 2005
I am starting sand therapy this week so I can remember what happened to me in the first 15 years of my life. You see, I can't remember my child hood. I need pictures to trigger any memory. I am very scared and uncomfortable of the unknown. I truly don't know what happened to me because I repressed my childhood so deep that it seems I was just dropped on this earth at 15 years old. I have so many pieces of a puzzle but I can't put them together. I am hoping that my counselor can put them together for me. I will write another entry when I find out what I am blocking. It's the first time in my life that I am so scared of something I don't know.
by Staceyon 24 Jan 2005
Now I am 16 but I will never forget what started when I was 11 years old. My mumís best mate husband started touching me in places he shouldnít have. I never had a real dad so I looked up to Peter. When he started touching me I thought it was normal but I found out it wasnít when I was 14 and he started forcing me to have sex with him. One day my mum and sisters went to my nanas and my older sister went to work. Peter came up to do something with our computer. I was in the bath and I left the door unlocked. He came in and locked the door. I told him to get out but he started taking his cloths off. I got up and rapped the towel around me. He pulled me to the floor, took off the rest of his cloths off and undid my towel. But no matter how hard I tried to fight him off he still got up inside me and there was nothing I could do. After he had finished, he got his cloths on, unlocked the bathroom door and went down stairs. I cried. I am so ashamed of myself. After I went down stairs, he acted like nothing happened; he acted that way every time after he forced me to have sex. I see my mum once a week and see my sisters now and I am in touch with my real dad but he doesnít understand so I am going to start talking to the women in the rape and sexual abuse centre.
by K8eon 22 Jan 2005
Hey everyone, I donít want to write my name on this site because of the sheer fact someone I know might find it. I am a survivor not a victim, even though I was but I am getting help. I am 15 and I was raped at a party when I was visiting my cousin and family over Christmas break one year. I went to the hospital but since itís a little town they didnít even notify my parents or anything. They just let the allegation go since I didnít live there. Besides I am in a very religious family and we are not supposed to have sex before marriage. I feel so ashamed. I know I shouldnít because its not my fault but I blame myself for even being there that night.
My cousin and I are about two years apart and at the time I felt so cool being asked to go to a real party. It being such a small town I guess the guys in the town take advantage of new meat. My cousin and her new boyfriend where somewhere making out when this older guy, John, came up to me. Iím not am ugly person. I am so cute for my age. I was so surprised this older guy was talking to me, flirting with me. He was my older cousinís friend. I had met him before and he was really nice to me. He asked me to go walk outside with him so I figured it wasnít anything. He was so gentleman that I didnít stop to think. When we got outside there was this group of guys by Johnís car. We went over and started talking to them. Then all of the sudden they grabbed me and stuffed me in the car I tried to scream but one of them covered my mouth. There was 4 of them I was so scared I didnít know what to do I was so scared. John started driving and then he stopped we were in the middle of no where. They dragged me out of the car and John and this other guy named Luke raped me and the other two watched laughing while they took turns. When they were done they took me home. I was bleeding a lot. Only I and my cousin know. She drove me to the hospital. She blames herself for leaving me by myself. She had no idea that John was like that. Anyways I am doing better. I told a rape counselor on a hotline before about it and she advised me to press charges against them since I have the evidence. I told her I am not ready to tell my mother yet or to do anything of that matter but all that matters is that I am doing better. I am a survivor.
by unwanted... on 22 Jan 2005
I was sexually abused by my swim coach from when I was 9 years old, until I went to college at age 18. For the longest time I knew that the way he treated me was wrong...that he shouldn't touch me that way, or tell me that he dreamed about me at night, that he shouldn't put his hands inside my swim suit, comment on my "nice butt", or rub against my breasts. The most scared I ever was, I arrived at practice early and it was just me and him there, and I went in the building and he pushed me against the wall, and I could feel him hard on me, and I was so scared...but then someone came in, and he stopped.
I didn't learn until I was 20 years old that my coach had "groomed" me for this. He made me feel special and loved. He always singled me out as "the best" and everybody knew I was his favorite. My dad wasn't home a lot so he kind of took the place of my father, so I didn't want to disappoint him....that is one of the reasons why I let him do the things he did.
I still haven't come to terms with this completely. In my mind, the man as a monster and the man as my surrogate father are separate...and they shouldn't be. He is a horrible, awful person, and the worst thing is, I know that he is probably doing this to some other girl now, now that I got away. I can't tell the cops though, I want to, badly, but then my parents would find out, and I don't want them to think badly of me...and in a part of my mind, I still try to protect that monster.
He is the reason I was anorexic, the reason I was a "slut" in college, the reason I have a hard time with LOVE...
Maybe one day I will get angry enough to tell the cops, please pray that I do!
by cbabyon 22 Jan 2005
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This site is offered for support of other survivors, it is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. I don't have any qualifications or training in therapy, I am by no means a professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this web site, use of content, or content of any links leading from this site. If you are in a crisis situation I urge you to contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional.