I was 17 years old and three weeks away from going to college four hours away from home. Some people from my work invited me to a party so I went with them. There was a lot of drinking going on and my friend "Richard" was there. He encouraging me to drink, saying that you are going to college where everyone will drink so you might as well. So I listened to him and I started drinking a beer. After about two of them I started feeling very dizzy and sleepy. I asked the person whose house it was if I could lie down somewhere. Richard and another guy named Ryan sort of carried me to an upstairs bedroom and I laid down on the bed before I passed out. Thatís all I clearly remember. When I came to a while later, Richard was raping me while Ryan was watching. I put my arms up to stop him and I said ďNoĒ but he just covered my mouth with his hand and said be quiet. My next memory is of Ryan raping me while Richard was watching and I tried to push him off, but Richard came over and held down my arms and covered my mouth. I tried to scream but I couldnít and I could barely move. When I woke up again it was morning and I was laying on this bed naked. I got up still feeling very woozy and gathered my clothes. The past nightís events are kind of a distant memory as I drove home. I got in the shower and everything came back. Richard, Ryan and the bedroom and I realized what has happened. I got out, got my mom and we went to the hospital. I was examined and came to find out that I had been given the drug Roofies. Ryan and Richard are caught and sent to prison for 50+ years. We find out that there were many other girls they had done this too. I am a survivor and you are too. God bless and take care
by Lilyon 22 Mar 2005
Hi, when I was 13 years old I was asleep in my bed and I woke up and saw my brotherís friend on top of me. He was 17 at the time. He pushed me down and started having sex with me. I tried to get up but he held me down so I didnít fight him. I just started to cry. After he finished, he kissed me, got up and left.
by crystal smithon 22 Mar 2005
I have been coming to this site for a while, wondering if I should post. This is mainly because my rape story seems less worthy than others, and my logic tells me I should be over it by now. Time has made it fade a lot, but in a way that makes me feel like I'm cutting a part of me off rather than growing past it.
When I was 17 I took a trip with my friend to Florida for spring break. I was a very self-destructive teenager, looking for someone to love me, so I had had sex before, though never enjoyed it.
We met these guys and agreed to go out with them the next night. We basically got drunk and stoned and naked on the beach, planning to skinny dip. Then I just remember running toward the water with a sense of freedom and him meeting me, blocking that feeling and the ocean. He laid me back on the sand. I remember telling him I wouldn't have sex with him without a condom - my passive way of saying no. He said okay. Then he went down on me, and on the way back up...you know the rest. I felt so guilty, and disgusting, because it was my stupid fault. I was drunk on the beach, naked with strangers, because I had enjoyed it.
We went out with those guys again the next night, and he asked my friend if I would suck his penis for some pot. I was very insulted by this. He thought I was a wh*re. I don't even know if he knew what he had done to me. Can you imagine feeling so worthless that something someone else has done to effect you so greatly is so meaningless to them?
The only reason I know it was rape is because it is still painful, I became detached from my body afterwards ("it's just a body, whatever"), and it was the first time I ever had said no to a guy at all. This event totally twisted my frame of mind about how women should exist in the world. I'm 24 and still recovering.
by S on 22 Mar 2005
The first memory of sexual assault or inappropriate touching was when I was approximately 7 or 8. I had gone to a show with my brother one summer day. We were sitting together and he went to get popcorn or something. An older male that was an acquaintance of his came and sat beside me. He put his arm around me and said he was just resting his hand, and then he moved his hand to my breast and again said he was just resting his hand. He then moved his hand to my waist and said the same thing, then inside my shorts and panties saying the same thing until he was trying to insert his finger into my vagina. I don't remember what happened after that but I do know that the whole time I was petrified, felt yucky, and wanted him to stop. I had an ex boyfriend who tried to rape me when I was about 16. I never told my mother about any of this. That is all I feel I can share right now. Thanks
by ameliaon 21 Mar 2005
This is very hard to tell but I just canít keep it in any longer. I was molested at the age of 11-13. It was my uncle who would always hurt me. It all started one day when my uncle had come over and my parents were out. As I ran to answer the door I saw him so I opened the door. He walked in and he asked if my parents were home I said no. He said that he would wait until they came. Since I knew him I said it was okay and I walked up to my bedroom. I was there for a couple of minutes listening to music when all of a sudden I heard his voice. He said what are you doing? I replied that I was listening to music, and then he asked if I knew what time my parents were coming home. I said that it might be for another two hours or so next thing I know is that he is grabbing my by the shoulder and throwing me on the bed. He got on top of me and I was trying so hard to get him off me...but I couldnít he was too strong. He put a hand over my mouth and started taking off my pants with his other hand. I was in tears as I knew that there was no way I could take him off me. Once he had finally taken off my pants, he took his hand off my mouth and said that if I shouted he would beat me. I was so scared I didnít say a word, I just lay their crying and wishing for my parents to come home. As he slipped his hand under my shirt and started playing with my breast he was saying how much he had been wanting for this moment to come. I could feel his body on top of mine, his skin rubbing up against mine, it was so wrong. After he started rubbing my *****. It didn't just stop there, he inserted his penis in to my ******* . After he was done, I just laid there frozen and trembling. He then grabbed me and demanded me to put my clothes back on as I did this he threatened me that if I told he would kill both of my parents. I donít know why I didnít tell my parents right after the first incident happened. I guess I was just scared that what he had threatened to do would actually happen. I was also scared that my parents wouldnít believe me. As you can guess it didn't stop there. From time to time he would drop in unexpectedly when my parents werenít home and he would rape me. I hadnít spoken about this to anyone until a year ago when I told my parents. They began to cry and they kept on asking on why I hadnít told them about this sooner. I just kept on saying I didnít know. Although my parents pressed charges against him and he got sent to jail, I still canít forget this. This has affected me major now that I am 16 I still remember in great detail all those disgusting things he would do to me. I became depressed and suicidal. I tried killing my self several times. I now know that what happened to me was not my fault. But I know that no matter how much I try to forget I will never be able to.
by annonymouson 20 Mar 2005
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This site is offered for support of other survivors, it is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. I don't have any qualifications or training in therapy, I am by no means a professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this web site, use of content, or content of any links leading from this site. If you are in a crisis situation I urge you to contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional.