Hi, my name is Devan, and I was raped about 2 years ago. My parents don’t know about it, but most of my friends do. I was at this party in 7th grade (12 years old). It was a birthday party. All of a sudden I was being pushed into the bathroom by four 17 yr old guys. I had no clue who they were, I was terrified, and no-one else at the party knew about it. I was trying to get out but then I was pushed onto the bathroom floor. One guy held my hands, one held my feet, one was on top of me, and one was holding my mouth shut until the guy on top put his penis in my mouth. I was terrified, and I was in tears. When they were finished with me they said if I ever told anyone they would come and hurt me really bad. They knew where I lived. So here I am...14 almost 15 years old. Still terrified, and I break into tears every time I have to tell that story. When I hear people joking about rape in school, I get so offended because they don’t know how painful and life changing it is.
by Devanon 18 Apr 2005
I wish this was easy to do but its not. I’m sure this is hard for everyone though. I was never good in school or very popular so when I got invited to this party in my sophomore year I thought I was really cool. When I got there, there were only guys there. I wanted to leave but they told me to stay and so I did and that the other girls would be here shortly that I was just early. One of the guys gave me a drink and so I thought “ok”. I sat on the couch and was drinking and later on the other girls did show up and I felt a little better.
I had gotten up to go to the bathroom and when I came back there was a guy sitting on the couch. I went to sit down and we started talking. He was really nice and when he saw that my drink was gone he asked if I wanted another one and I said yeah. He came back a couple of minutes later and gave me my drink. We began talking again. I was almost done with my drink when I started feeling funny. He asked if I wanted to lie down but I said no I wanted to go home. He asked if I was ok to drive and I said no so he offered to. He seemed really nice so I said ok. While we were driving I felt like I was going to throw up so he pulled over.
When I didn’t, I got out of the car and went to get cool air. He came over and started to touch me I asked him to stop but he wouldn’t.
I told him that I was still a virgin and couldn’t do anything with him. He still kept grabbing me and I tried to scream but he grabbed me and put his hand over my mouth and told me to shut up. I started crying and he pulled a knife out of his pocket and put it to my throat and told me to stop crying and get in the car.
He started to drive around which seemed like forever. He finally drove through the woods to a clearing and told me to get out so I did. He grabbed my arm and went to his trunk and pulled out a blanket which he made me spread on the ground. He started to kiss me again and kept the knife to my throat. I pulled away and he hit me so hard I fell to the ground. He kept hitting me until I told him I wouldn’t pull away again.
He took the knife and started to cut all the buttons off my shirt. I just closed my eyes and started crying I tried to put myself far away but every time I did I just came right back.
He got all my clothes off and started taking his pants off he made me perform oral sex on him while he did the same. I never felt so dirty in my life. When he was done he put himself inside me. I screamed because I felt like I was being torn apart. He started laughing and when he was done he put his pants on and told me to get dressed.
He took me home after that and before I got out of the car he told me not to say anything because if I did he would come back and kill me.
When I got inside my dad was waiting up for me because I was supposed to be home an hour ago. I told him that I needed to go to the hospital because I had just been raped. The guy that did this is now behind bars and I am trying to get on with my life but It seems like the entire school hates me now cause I turned in one of their friends so I am still going through the harassment and need help. If any of you can help me or give me any advice feel free to write me at firstname.lastname@example.org thanks for reading
by cadenceon 17 Apr 2005
It is so hard to find an appropriate outlet to talk about these things...after all, you can tell people when you've been in an accident. You can't talk about sexual abuse. I think a lot of folks out there don't believe it happens. Whenever I've spoken to my relatives, it gets too intense...they can't hear another word. Never mind that I had to listen to those words and suffer through that rubbing and touching. They know I'm telling the truth now...you know why? I let them catch him red-handed and he had to confess. Guess what? I had to learn the hard way that there is no vengeance for what they do. It can never be taken back. My step dad was a respected cop and I had NO protection from him. I had to string the whole thing out so my mom could catch him. He always made it out to be ME that was causing the problems. That my mom would hate me if she knew what a b**** I really was. He has been dead a few years and I still feel that it is my duty to carry these memories and just shut up about it. I relate to those who aren't sure whether they were abused or not because that’s all part of the trap. Has anyone heard "you know me better than anyone else", or "I just want to help you by making sure it doesn't hurt the first time"...they are only prepping you to help themselves. My big question is WHY...that man died before he had to tell me WHY...I still feel like he got away with it.
by Bethany Ann Heathon 17 Apr 2005
I was sexually abused as a child by a school friend. We live in the same town, we even went to the same elementary school together. Anyways when we both were in middle school together he always asked the teacher if he could walk with me to my locker. I would say “no” I don’t want him to walk me to my locker cause that is when he would touch me. He would touch my private area and this went on for 2 and a half years cause the teacher would make me walk with someone and they would always pick him. That is when he would touch me down there.
by kimon 17 Apr 2005
Hi, I came across this site by accident- or maybe it was 'Fate'.
I'm an abuse survivor, not yet ready to tell all, but ready enough for the outline.
I was abused the New Year before my 4th birthday by my big cousin.
I didn't believe in 'repressed memory' until 3yrs ago when whilst in the psych Hospital I kept having what I thought were nightmares at first.
It wasn't till the flashbacks started with a vengance, did the memory come back to me. I couldn’t believe it-29 years later-it was all so clear!
I'm starting to come to terms with it now but all these years on I still feel UNCLEAN!!
I couldn't remember before-Now I’ll NEVER forget!!
..Hugs 2 ALL survivors out there...H...
by Scarred Soulon 17 Apr 2005
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This site is offered for support of other survivors, it is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. I don't have any qualifications or training in therapy, I am by no means a professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this web site, use of content, or content of any links leading from this site. If you are in a crisis situation I urge you to contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional.