I was 15 years old the first time I was raped. I was at the school with all my friends. We always went to the little elementary school to hang-out.
I was there with my friends Johanna, and my boyfriend Mauro. He took me behind the building saying he wanted to talk I was scared and my friend Johanna told me just to go, so I did then the next part is a blur, he was very strong. He grabbed my arm kicked my leg and had me on my back in a second. Then he was on top of me and he whistled and his friend Pablo came and while Mauro was raping me and I tried to scream his friend stuck his penis in my mouth. I never told anyone because in some weird way I didnít want him to get hurt and I was scared that no one would believe me. To this day I still havenít told anyone but my little sister.
Then when I was 16 my first rapistís friends were at the school and I was stupid and I went back thinking that these were my friends and they cared about me. I was wrong. Pedro got me on the ground and Julio raped me first while Pedro held me down and then they switched and I tried getting up and running away and Pedro got me and bit my neck and held on until I got back on the floor I had to try with all I had left (which was not much) not to cry and then when they were done they walked me home and said, "see you later." I let this day haunt me and I blamed myself for the longest time. I will never tell my parents because I could never go to trial I am barely starting my healing Thank you and God bless.
by Ashamedon 2 May 2005
I was 13 at the time. I heard on the TV that it takes a long time to get over being raped but I didnít think it would take this long. Day in day out worried about everything and everyone I didnít know why I was worried. Life changed things that were always positive were negative. I just couldnít get what happened out of my head, it was like someone else was in control of me. I started cutting myself it was the only way for me to deal with what happened. It made me feel in control of my life but I wasnít because if I was I could go that little further and the circulation in my body would stop. After it happened my boyfriend said to me, "youíre not the person I went out with". I couldnít believe that something like this could make such an impact in someoneís life. When I wrote about my life I was shocked. It was like something out of a film but it all happened to me and I began to realize there were real reasons for what I felt.
by Natalie on 1 May 2005
Well I was 5 years old when it happened to me, it was my dadís best friend and he called me to his car one day when he came over to my house looking for my dad. I told him he wasnít there he told me to get in his car so I did because that was my dadís friend and I knew him. Then he asked me if when I was a baby, did my mom breast feed me. I donít know why he asked me that question but he did then he took his penis out and told me to suck it. I never told anyone until I was 9 years old and he tried to finger me in his car and I told him no and to bring me home. When I got there I told my sister and she set him up and the cops took him I find out that he also raped my two other sister my little brother also got raped but by someone else they man that raped me got 45 years just for my case.
by Vierginieon 30 Apr 2005
At the age of 4, I was molested by this older man who my mom knew. He and his wife ended up becoming my godparents and took care of me most of the time. I would stay at their house just about every night because my mom had 2 jobs to support myself and two older brothers. For the next 3 years I was molested and eventually raped. I suffered serious injuries when the rape occurred but he and his wife managed to keep it quiet. Not all of my memories are clear in my younger years, mainly because it hurts too much to think about it. When I was turning eight we ended up moving because my mom had a new job lined up. I thought everything was going to be different. Then when I was 10, I was raped by another acquaintance of my moms. That was the last time it happened to me, but some how the occurrences still feed off of me.
by Jane on 30 Apr 2005
Just two nights ago, I finally realized that some disturbing memories from childhood were sexual abuse. I had a neighbor friend that I grew up with. He and I were playing truth and dare in the woods by our houses and his older brother joined us. He was 15 or so; we were about 10. When one of us chose "dare" he dared us to do what he told us to do. He showed us, among other things, how to have intercourse. He also asked me to do some things to him, like touch him or kiss it.
I never gave much thought to what occurred, but the memory was always in the forefront of my mind. Then I was reading a book about eating disorders and realized that the older boy had abused both me and his brother. For so many years I had written off as childhood experimentation, but it wasn't. I'm just beginning my healing journey.
by Deanieon 29 Apr 2005
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This site is offered for support of other survivors, it is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. I don't have any qualifications or training in therapy, I am by no means a professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this web site, use of content, or content of any links leading from this site. If you are in a crisis situation I urge you to contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional.