Rape and sexual abuse survivors - Dancing In The Darkness resource for rape and sexual abuse survivors. help and support for rape and sexual abuse survivors
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Featured Category:
Date Rape

Date Rape

In many cases of rape and sexual abuse, the predator is a man the woman is dating. This is commonly called Date Rape or Aquaintance Rape. These are the most common type of rape committed.




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Dancing in the Darkness
This happened four years ago when I was ten. I was a lot luckier than everyone else who's written but I was stupid for not doing anything about it at the time. I went to visit my mumís friend Jules and her husband Terry overnight while my mum was on a business trip. At about 7/8-ish Jules went to bed leaving me and Terry on the couch (where I slept) watching TV. At about 9-ish I was curled up on half the couch in my new red nightie under the blanket. I felt his hand creep up between my legs. I put my hand over my "area" so he couldn't touch me there so he moved his hand over my butt and started rubbing it. After a few minutes he removed his hand and I was frozen in fear. He took out his penis and started masturbating right there in front of me. I escaped to the bathroom for about 5 minutes. I went back to the couch and sat up straight. He didn't go to bed until about 1am. One week later my mum had to go out of town again and I had to stay with Jules and Terry for the whole weekend. Jules owned a dog grooming shop so my mum dropped me off there. I had to go to the bathroom and Terry, who was also there, followed me to the door and asked if I wanted help. I said no and he said okay. I went in and locked the door. He started juggling the doorknob trying to get in. I calmly said that someone was in there but he wouldn't stop. On the drive back to Jules' and Terry's apartment Terry was being exceptionally nice to me. He even let me sit in the front seat. Jules had to deliver something to one of her friends/clients and left me in the car with Terry. He was directly behind me and asked if I wanted a massage. I said NO! The he put his hands on my shoulders and slid them down over my breasts. He kept rubbing my breasts until the door into which Jules went into started to open. Terry's dead now. He attempted suicide and ran away from his home a few times. One day he tripped and hit his head really hard and bled to death. I wanted to be happy but I felt it was wrong. Now four years later here I am. A girl with incredibly low self-esteem, a girl who cuts herself until there is no unscarred skin left, a girl who is struggling with episodes of anorexia and bulimia and an eating disorder not otherwise specified. I'm a girl who has attempted suicide twice (not much though just a really deep cut and a small sip of toiletries that say not to drink, no one ever knew). I've seen my school counselor and now I have to see a psychologist. I'm going for my second meeting with my psychiatrist today. My mum and I don't get along and my father is literally non-existent. A whole lot of bad things in my life could have been avoided because of Terry. But I'm lucky, so many people have it worse off.
by M Con 23 May 2005

Hi, when I was 15 years old I went to this party with a whole bunch of my friends. My parents are very strong Catholics so I had to sneak out my window. At this time I was a single girl. I have never had sex before. When we got there a whole bunch of people were at this party. They were all drunk and wasted so we played spin the bottle. This one kid dared me to have sex with a kid named Derek. My friend said it would be fun so we got up on the table. Everyone was watching, we got undressed and it hurt so badly but I pretended I liked it to be cool. That was my first time having sex with a guy

When I was 19 I started working at a Fast Food place. I donít remember what the name of it was but one day we were about to close and 4 guys came in and said could we please order some food. So I said we are closing but if you hurry you can eat. There were 2 Blonde haired guys and 2 red head guys. I was the only one there except the cook named Bob. The guys that I was waiting on looked like they were about 20. I was 17. All of a sudden after the meal they pulled out a gun and said you better do what I say. Before I know it they had Bob tied up in a chair with tape over his mouth. The red haired guys went for the cash register and the other blonde guy went for the safe. I was so scared. They told me to take my dress off. So I did it. The guy started touching my boobs saying how muck he liked it. Then he picked me up and put me on the table and began performing oral sex on me. He asked if it felt good and I knew I had to say yes so I did. He called over to his friends and said she likes it. Then he pushed his penis inside me. It hurt so badly. I began to cry and scream but he pushed harder and I screamed louder. I cried but then he flipped me over and raped me from behind. They left later and I called the police but they were never put in jail.
by Roxyon 23 May 2005

My life has always been rough for as long as I could remember. When I was twelve my dad started to touch me. And then it turned into sex. I always tried to fight him but it was useless. I told my step mom and she told me not to tell anyone or else. I was so scared and I had to live with this until I was 18. Than when I was 21 I went out with someone who I thought was my friend. I was raped by three black guys. I thought my life was over. I tried to kill myself and ended up in the hospital. All I cared about was ending the pain and shame I felt. I am now married and have a son. But here lately I have been so angry and I have a very hard time coping with everyday life. I just don't think it will ever go away. My husband knows about it all. I just have nightmares and I get so upset. Will the pain and anger ever stop?
by Connieon 21 May 2005

My name is Jason. I was molested by my uncle when I was 9 years old. At the time he was probably in his late thirties, and had just split up with his second wife. My mom had invited him to stay with us, until he was able to get back on his feet. I remember liking the idea of him living with us, because my dad had been out of the picture for quite sometime. The day it happened, he had taken me to play basketball. After the game we went home where he proceeded to become quite intoxicated. Everyone was getting ready for bed; my mom made his bed on the pull-out sofa, and then retired herself. Since it was in the middle of summer, my mom would usually allow me to stay up past my bedtime. It was about an hour after everyone had gone to bed when I felt myself getting tired, and told my uncle good night. Before I got to my room, he grabbed me and asked if I wanted to make some money tonight, but that I wouldnít be able to tell anyone about it. I said sure, what do I have to do? He said just sleep next to him on the sofa bed. At nine years old, I never had any money, and thought it would be nice to sleep in the same bed with the guy that played basketball with me. So I said sure and told him that I had to get my sleeping bag. He instead said that I should just sleep under the blankets with him. As I got under the blankets I noticed that he was completely naked. I didnít think too much about this because I thought, thatís how grown men sleep...in the nude.
He started talking to me. Asking me questions like, had I had sex yet, did I have a girlfriend, and did I masturbate? I lied telling him yes to every question, because I wanted him to think that I was more grown up then my other siblings. The next thing he did surprised me, he told me to take my pyjamas off. I did because I didnít want to offend him, or disobey him, he was my uncle. Then he asked me if I wanted to masturbate with him. I told him I didnít know how. He said that I should begin by touching his pubic hair. I remember thinking it was so odd and why would I have to touch him, but I did it anyway. Then he told me to feel his penis. I started to move my hand, and he brought his hand down to my penis. He said that I would soon be as big as he was. Then he wanted me to begin kissing him on the mouth. At this point I knew for sure that what I was doing was not okay. I tried excusing myself to go to the bathroom. He told me that if I left, then I wouldnít get any money and that he would not talk to me anymore. So I let him. He made me suck his penis. During that he shoved one of his fingers inside of me, all the while moaning. I wanted to be done with this, I wanted to go back to my own bed, to sleep alone. I couldnít understand why sex had to feel so painful and dirty. I was ashamed and scared that my mom would catch me. I didnít want to be around him ever again. He finally came inside of my mouth. Choking, he told me to swallow it, and that I had made him very happy. I went back to my room and laid in bed thinking that my life will never be the same again. I knew that I had lost something that night.
by Jasonon 21 May 2005

I am so confused right now....I was in a bad game when I was 12 to 13. A teacher in my school liked touching me. I thought it was okay because he said so. I trusted him. But then he asked me to play a special game. He brought me to the copierís room and closed the door....He told me that in the game I would be the princess and he would be the king. I thought the game was weird because he took off my clothes. I couldnít say anything in the game. Then he put me against the wall and began to spank me. Then he put something in my bottom and opened it with his hands. He put his hand in and touched me a little in the front. It felt weird. Then he bent me over one of the copiers but I ran under a table. He took me out and he said all girls play this game. He was too strong. He put me back on the copier. He put something inside me down there ....it hurt me. He grabbed me so hard. He touched me all over for long time....this is the first part.....I didnít like this game....I just wanted to let it out somewhere...thanks
by sunshine on 21 May 2005

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This site is offered for support of other survivors, it is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. I don't have any qualifications or training in therapy, I am by no means a professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this web site, use of content, or content of any links leading from this site. If you are in a crisis situation I urge you to contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional.

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