Rape and sexual abuse survivors - Dancing In The Darkness resource for rape and sexual abuse survivors. help and support for rape and sexual abuse survivors
rape and sexual abuse survivors share their thoughts rape is NEVER your fault aftermath of rape and sexual abuse
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Featured Category:
Date Rape

Date Rape

In many cases of rape and sexual abuse, the predator is a man the woman is dating. This is commonly called Date Rape or Aquaintance Rape. These are the most common type of rape committed.




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Well this happened when I was 13. I was staying over my cousin's house because I was taking care of them while my aunt worked, We were all in my aunts room (3 smaller cousins and me) when my aunts husband came in and started watching TV with us. I was lying down on the bed when I fell asleep. I suddenly felt someone pulling me and I thought I was probably on the remote or something so unconsciously I moved. The next thing I felt was a hand going inside my bra. I was petrified and I couldnít move I knew it was my uncle but I was so scared to do something. I just prayed for him to stop. Then when I felt him take out his hand, I stood up like if I just had woken up. I left the room and went to the restroom. I started crying so much. After I got out he was standing in the other room waiting for me and he asked for me to go with him. I said I couldnít because I had to take care of my cousins so I just went to the room were they were. The next day I was playing with one of my cousins when he came in and asked me if I was mad at him. I told him I wasnít and he started licking my ear in front of his daughter. Then he just left. That night I told my other uncle what had happen and they called my parents who came and talked with him. I want to tell you all that I am a survivor and so is he because he asked for me to forgive him and asked his family for a second chance. He stopped drinking and turned Christian and has changed tremendously. I am turning 19 soon and I really can say I forgive him and I am a survivor!
by Angelaon 6 Jun 2005

This story is about a predator who abused my physical and emotional boundaries. At the age of 18, I was in awe of my aunt, my mother's youngest sister. She was everything that I wanted to be. I hung out in her home often, and her husband hereafter referred to as the predator, was always present. He was very kind at first. Always soft spoken and attentive. I was 18, naive and trusting. He preyed upon these qualities, and lured me into a "counseling project" he was working on. He was a counselor at a university, and having just returned from UK with a Masters, he was keen on some research. He asked me whether I could help him. My aunt was encouraging of this. There were a few sessions in her home, she was always present but not in the room. After awhile, he called me at home, asking me to meet him at their house in the afternoons, lunchtime. I knew my aunt would be at work, he said she knew about these "sessions". Later I realized she didnít. He said "massage therapy" was a technique he wanted to try. This started off as nothing more than stroking my hand. But later he said I should get into something more "comfortable" like a loose sarong. I remember that once he asked me to describe what I saw, and while he stroked my hand, he brushed up my blouse and stroked my breast. I was shocked and pushed his arm away strongly. I was quiet and confused. Later that night, he visited my home with my aunt, he said he was worried about me. I don't understand why I believed him. It was so blatant and obvious it was abuse. I did not realize this until that day, when he massaged my back, and pulled my skirt up, to massage my buttocks. I remember lying still, confused and in utter fear. I just wanted it to end. He stopped massaging and I asked him to cover my back. I left that day and told myself this had to stop. I finally revealed to a trusted uncle, as I was afraid to tell my parents. My trusted uncle told my parents, and it turned sour. My aunt was in confusion. She was in disbelief. She asked me whether I could resolve this with her husband. I was in fear and agreed to meet them to discuss this. She left me with the predator and went somewhere. The predator was angry, thinking that my trusted uncle had done this. I just nodded my head, in fear. My aunt wanted to know whether it was "resolved" and I said yes, just get away from that house. Of course it wasn't. Of course it isn't. It never will be. She didn't believe me in the end. The predator twisted the story, and told the family that I had "boy issues" and he tried to help me. Some believed me, and they still are wary of him. It has been 12 years since it happened, I still see him at family functions, and my aunt speaks to me but that incident was never brought up. I fear that the wound is still there, I don't wish to pick on scabs but every time I see that monster, I feel a heavy tinge. No one knows what exactly happened. I didn't reveal all for I feared I would be blamed. Was I to blame?
by Sri Delimaon 6 Jun 2005

Well this was when I had just moved up from Sydney. I was about 11 and I was sexually abused by my cousin. We would go over to my cousinís house quite often maybe, canít really remember but he would take me out the back and he would tell me to sit on his lap and start feeling my vagina. I would tell him to stop it but he wouldnít. It hurt and then he eventually stopped it and then told me to touch his penis, I was so scared I didnít know what I was doing and then he acted as if nothing happened and gave me some videos to go watch inside, where my family was watching some Casper movies. It didnít happen for a while and then he came over to my house where we all lived and he told me to sit so I did but he didnít do anything. I thought he had stopped it. It happened again at his house, were he lived with his wife and two sons, we where having so much fun and that night he asked me to come in to his bedroom and started touching me again and threatened me to not tell anyone otherwise he would do it again, I said ok. I thought it had stopped and then it happened again when I was in Sydney and he was staying at the same motel for it was our cousins wedding. My sister and I were flower girls, we decided to go up to our cousinís rooms were they were staying and ask if they wanted to go for a swim. He asked me to sit on the bed behind him with a very angry face. My sister was at the front of him and he touched me again. I was too scared to tell anyone. We had the wedding and then we headed up to Brisbane and my aunty came up from Victoria and she stayed for a week. When she was leaving she said to keep me in the car when she was dropping us off at school and it was then I told my mum everything. It was hard and I divided every thing when she first asked but I started to cry and told her. I have been to court over the 2 years of grade- 4 to 6. My mum gave a photo of him to my school and he kept ringing our home number. After the court case he was not sentenced to prison and yes he walks free. It makes me so mad and angry. The law sucks!! They think we make it up but we don't.
I am now 15, I am glad its over and telling someone was the best thing that happened to me. At first I felt ashamed and dirty and like no-one would believe me but they did and itís been the best thing. I still have memories and yes I wish that it never happened and why me, but the fact is it never is the victims fault, it just happens. I encourage anyone out there who is scared of telling someone and scared that they wonít believe you to tell, thereís a 90% chance they will. Thank you!
by ashamed on 5 Jun 2005

I was sexually abused when I was 6 years old. I was too little to know what he was doing then, until I was 8 and he was still doing it. He was my best friend. The thing that hurts me the most is not what he did but that nobody stopped him. He has got another girl pregnant, I was lucky enough not to have had my period when he was doing it. He used to do it 4 times each week, at my aunts house until I was 8. I would always yell and tell him to stop but he never did. One night I wouldn't stop screaming and he threatened to kill me. I didn't show that I was getting hurt, I just went along with it thinking that he would stop. He never did until he had to go back with his dad since he was a foster child. He lived with me for those 2 years. I was little and I was scared. I didn't know what to do. When he was taken away I was happy on the outside but I felt empty on the inside. I didn't know what to do with my life. The day he left, I felt like everything he did was my fault. I've forgotten some parts of it now but everyday somehow I get reminded of it. Some people like my mom for instance still don't believe me. I just wish, if I could have changed one thing was that I knew what I know now about the subject of rape. Years passed by while I was going through all this pain and I tried to commit suicide. Now I know it was never my fault, it's my friends who have shown me this.
by Chelseaon 5 Jun 2005

When I was growing up my biological dad molested me and 3 of my other siblings. He would touch us and have us perform sexual acts on him and each other.
(This happened from the age of 3-7) At the age 8 I finally told my mom and she and my dad got a divorce. Me and my 4 other siblings went into foster care and I am now 13 years old and am in the modeling business and going into an acting career as well. My youngest brother who was very young at the time was never molested and was too young to remember what my dad even looked like has had nightmares of a man (the way he describes it sounds just like my dad) trying to hurt him. At first I never wanted to talk about it but now I feel comfortable talking about it. I also would like to stop this kind of stuff from happening to other people but unfortunately Iím only one girl. So if your in a situation like that tell somebody if nobody will listen, I will, you can email me at alyssastilson@yahoo.com
Get help your not alone studies have shown every 5 minutes somebody is being raped, molested, or sexually assaulted.
by alyssaon 4 Jun 2005

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This site is offered for support of other survivors, it is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. I don't have any qualifications or training in therapy, I am by no means a professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this web site, use of content, or content of any links leading from this site. If you are in a crisis situation I urge you to contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional.

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