I was sexually assaulted when I was 18 years old and my attacker was never caught. I think the fact that he got away with it hurts more than the attack itself. I was on my way to school one morning and a man came up behind me and wrapped his arm around my neck and I couldn't breathe. I remember his smell and him speaking into my ear as if he knew me. I passed out and when I came to I realized what was going on. I couldn't believe it. Next thing I knew he had pushed me into my car and made me take off my pants. The whole thing probably lasted about a half an hour but it felt like forever. My boyfriend at the time made me feel as if it was all my fault and he started raping me all the time, until finally I just stopped fighting him, because it was easier than having to explain or hide black and blues eyes. It took me almost a year to get out of that relationship, and realize that none of what happened was my fault.
by jojo on 14 Jun 2005
Well my life of abuse started at age 6. I was raped and molested by my babysitter's brother. He was 12 or 13, I can't remember. Then the same year I was raped again by my cousin who also would molest me whenever I would go over to his house. At that age I didn't really understand what was happening to me. Then when I was 13 my stepfather starting molesting me. I went into depression. I would lock my doors, sleep in my clothing, and my mother thought I was just a weird teenager. I started to baby-sit and when I was 14 I told the person I babysat for. She told me that I had to tell my mother. She went and got my mother and I couldn't tell my mother outright so I wrote it down. She went and confronted my step dad and he admitted to it. She wanted me to just forgive him and we ended up in therapy. After a few months I just gave up on therapy and told everyone that I forgave him to get them off my back. I was forced to live with him and be disciplined by him for the next 4 years until I moved out. I joined the Navy trying to escape. Now I'm 28, a failed marriage, 2 kids, and 2 mental breakdowns later. I feel drained and confused. I'm angry at my mother for staying married to the man that sexually abused me. How could a mother do that to her own child? I keep asking myself how she can even let him touch her. It disgusts me so badly that want to vomit. I feel hurt and betrayed. She keeps telling me that some of my other family members have gone through things much worse. (So basically I should count myself lucky, I guess.) I really could care less what my other family members have gone through...no one wants to deal with it....they just want to let it happen......then sweep it under the rub...well forget it. To make matters worse is that my mother is so controlling. I tried desperately to get away from her. She has our whole family convinced that I'm crazy and to just accept the pedophile step dad that I have. I'm afraid for my children and not just my own either...for my sister's kids too. Which my sister doesn't care how I feel. She thinks that our stepfather would never do any such thing to our kids. She told me to GET A CLUE and I just couldn't believe it. She thinks that I should just get over what happened to me and leave it alone. This whole thing has messed me up pretty bad. I don't understand why I'm being betrayed by my family. I hope the pedophile was worth it because I never want anything more to do with them. All I want from them is that they leave me and my kids alone for good. But I know that will never happen. My mother is convinced that I'm a bad mother (when she's the one that should be looking in the mirror!) I love my children and would never do what she has done to me. She's the one that needs professional help by staying with a pedophile all these years. I'm coping of course, but it's difficult. My ex husband and I have joint custody of our children so that's difficult on me as well. I don't want them to have any contact with my parents because they are sick and twisted people (I don't care if they call themselves Christians and go to church or not!)Recently, my step dad came over and harassed me telling me that I better stop telling people about what he did to me and that if I have a problem with him then I need to tell it to his face. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He abused me all those years ago and now he came back and slammed it all in my face like it was my fault. What a disgusting man!! I just want this nightmare to end so I can live in peace with my children. If anyone wants to talk please email me firstname.lastname@example.org
by Mirandaon 13 Jun 2005
When I was 5 or 6 my neighbor came over to play. He was black and about 12 or 13 yrs old. He asked me if I ever seen a black penis before. I said I didnít care to see one. He punched me in the head and hit me with a large tree branch. He ripped my shorts off and turned me on my stomach. He tried to get in inside but couldnít. He got angry and gave up. I ran home half naked. I didnít get penetrated so I was lucky that day.
by Jeff2B on 12 Jun 2005
When I was 9 or 10, (1976ish) my step-dad took Super8 reel videos of me and my sister. Mostly naked and panties showers and on at least two of the movies, my sister and I engaged in lesbian acts to his Directions. I remember slightly the BRIGHT lights in my eyes and I sat on the couch naked. I saw my step dad penetrate my sister both anally and straight for the camera. She denies that it happened to this day. How can she act like I was imagining all this? She is making what happened to us "fake" or "lies", but they really happened.
by QuestionAboutPIX on 12 Jun 2005
I was 10 years old when a close friend of the family started molesting me. One of the things that hurt me most is to know that he is a pastor. At first he would only suck my breast and run his fingers up and down my vagina. As time went on he started putting his penis into my vagina. My family never knew what was going on and he told me that if I told anyone he would kill me and they won't believe me anyway. This continued until I was 23 and I am now 25. Please help me because this still bothers me.
by vanessa williamson 8 Jun 2005
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This site is offered for support of other survivors, it is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. I don't have any qualifications or training in therapy, I am by no means a professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this web site, use of content, or content of any links leading from this site. If you are in a crisis situation I urge you to contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional.