Itís supposed to help to get this out in the open, and to share it. When I was nine my little sister, who was 7, ran down the stairs crying, saying she didnít want to do what I was doing. When everyone went to investigate, they found me with my uncle. He was lying on the bed with no pants on, making me touch his penis and do other things that a nine year old should not know about. My stepmother began yelling and screaming at me, calling me all kinds of names, asking how could I do that, and allow him to do that. I did not know it was bad, it just felt good, and he was nice to me. My grandmother started to yell at her son to get out, and called his wife. My dad went into his bedroom, and never said anything, nor spoke of it ever. His wife came, was very upset with her husband, and took him home. Although my stepmother blamed me, she did make her brother leave, but within 4 to 6 weeks he was back like nothing. Luckily for me, he never touched my sister or me again. I do not know if we ever had intercourse, so much of it is gone from my memory, except the smell and icky feeling of the touch. My whole life I blamed my stepmother because it was her brother, and my father for not protecting me. What did they think their brother was doing upstairs in their daughterís bedroom, sleeping, taking a nap? Parents don't be stupid, be vigilant. If it seems out of place it is. Don't leave your little girls with older guys to take care of them. Good luck to all of you to put this behind you.
by alittleprincess on 12 Jul 2005
When I was five years old my older sister sexually abused me. She was twenty at the time. Today I am twenty-three years old, and it still affects my life. The abuse ruined my childhood, and caused me a great deal of pain. I have forgiven my abuser, and that has help with the healing process. However, my contact with her is limited. At times I feel healed, and then the pain comes back to me. One thing I have learned is that when I have children I will make sure they are never put in a situation where they could be abused.
by Saraon 12 Jul 2005
It happened one year and 2 weeks ago. It was a "friend" of mine - a guy I had dated for a few weeks, and then decided to just be friends with. He was fine with it, and said it was cool. He invited me to hang out with him and some friends, camping, drinking, and flirting. He said he loved me, and a nervous smile crossed my face as I told him to be silent. He knew I didnít love him. I had told him before. We were just friends. Later that night, I ended up in a tent with him... I wanted to sleep. I was buzzed and sleepy. He kissed me. I pulled away. He pulled me closer, hard against him. I fought some, and he threw me to the floor of the tent. He begged me, and I was firm in saying no. So he got angry. He said I owed it to him. I still said no. So he forced himself upon me, trying to take off my jeans. I screamed and yelled no, and he slapped me hard across the face. He told me to shut up and be still. He told me again that I owed this to him. I was scared, confused, and ultimately shocked. I stayed still while he pulled my jeans off, too scared to know what I should do. He then forced himself inside me. I resisted, which made it hurt so much. He slapped me again, and then kissed my lips and my shoulder. I remember trembling violently in fear and pain... I have never been that afraid in my entire life. Tears were streaming down my face and I could barely breath with the effort of holding back sobs and screams. He finished, and then put his pants on properly. He left the tent, with me huddled half naked on the floor. My entire body ached, and then I cut myself. I pulled my pocketknife from my bag, and I slit my wrists horizontally, not trying to kill myself, just trying to calm down. My mind was numbed, I could barely think. All I could feel was anger, hate, and pain. I don't know if I will ever be able to forgive him. He has caused so much shit in my life. I am not the same person I used to be... and am a very bitter person. I have many issues with my boyfriend because it is hard for me to confront problems and just be happy. I had suffered from depression. I was a cutter before I was raped, but just before that night I had started to get better. He just made me spiral back into the cutting habits. I am now going to therapy. I have only been to 2 sessions though, and we have yet to talk about this night. I certainly hope he feels guilty.
by Pixion 12 Jul 2005
In Oct. 2003, a guy raped me. Months later, I found out that I was pregnant. That was my first pregnancy. Carrying the baby of the person I hate the most was as hard as searching abortion clinics. I still don't know what was the right choice. I didn't want to give up the baby...because that was my baby too...but I felt like I had no choice. It's hard. If the baby looked like him, I could have killed the baby. I want to forget what happened to me. I wish it never happened. I should have killed him, or he should have killed me then.
by Alvern105 on 11 Jul 2005
It is very difficult to tell my story in some ways; I've tried so hard not to think of all the bad things in my past. I used to actually believe I was just fine, "I never even think about it, I dealt with it," Thatís what I would say. I want to face it now though, and hearing other peoples stories helps me tell mine thank you.
Both of my parents were drug addicts, and my father was also an alcoholic. I have 2 brothers, one older, one younger. My father was physically abusive to the whole family and was a violent drunk, but he was also sexually abusive to me. My memories seem to be vague sometimes, but the first abuse happened when I was six. I got up out of my bed to go sneak into my moms, but when I came out of room my father was awake on the couch, he called me over, and it happened. I canít explain the way I felt after. I didn't go to my momís bed that night; I felt alone...I still feel that way sometimes. The next year I was seven. My mother died from a brain aneurism.
After that my father got worse, we moved constantly. My father abused me throughout the years until I was 11, and one night he was horrible, he sexually assaulted me and tried to rape me. He just kept trying to force it. I was crying and screaming. He punched me in the face to make me stop crying, but I couldnít. He passed out afterwards, and I laid in bed awake until my brothers got there. They saw my face, but they didnít say anything. When everyone was asleep, I ran to my friends and we went to the police. My father spent 6 years in prison. But I still don't feel better. My brothers and I went to a foster home, but then my older brother was separated from my little brother and I. We went in another temporary foster home, and ended up in an adoptive home. The adoptive parents were physically and mentally abusive to all the kids there. I was 12 by then. I started running away at 17, reporting the adoptive parents to CPS, but they didnít believe me. All the other sibling and my little brother were afraid to say anything.
Finally CPS discovered the abuse and removed all the kids, I was still a runaway when this happened. I've been doing my best since. I am 23 now. A year and a half ago I was reunited with my older brother (adoptive family wouldnít let us be in contact). I find it all so hard to deal with it, but I'm getting better. I WANT to get better.
by Amberon 10 Jul 2005
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This site is offered for support of other survivors, it is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. I don't have any qualifications or training in therapy, I am by no means a professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this web site, use of content, or content of any links leading from this site. If you are in a crisis situation I urge you to contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional.