I don't know how this story will turn out. I am 20 years old and a grandfather molested me. I found out that he had molested another cousin of mine who was pressing charges for all of her therapy. When questioned about the sexual molestation I lied and said that he was the best grandfather. The suit was dropped.
When I was about 18, a stranger raped me and I never told anyone. I just started working for a lawyer and the lawyer has a criminal suit against the same guy. He has raped 3 other girls all because I kept my mouth shut, and I still can't open my mouth enough to talk about it to my lawyer.
All I can say...if you don't talk abbot it and end it then they will never stop until some one does.
by Jennifer on 1 Sep 2005
Hello. I am 26 and the mother of 2 beautiful girls. I have just recently discovered that the abuse I suffered as a child is still very much impacting every part of my life. See, I had convinced myself that I had dealt with it and it was dead in my past where it belonged. Then about 2 months ago I started having massive panic attacks and with them came phobias of things I had never feared. I was sent to a Behavior Health clinic to help with the anxiety and the panic. After going only a few times I was told that I was suffering from PTSD, well needless to say it knocked me down as I simply thought I was going insane, then again I am still not sure that isnít the case most days. I suffered many different kinds of abuse and some of it I have blocked from memory but I have been told about all the nasty details recently. So I sit everyday feeling like I am lost in a tail spin of sorts, The panic still runs my life as I am never sure when It will hit or how bad it will be. The dreams have started again only this time instead of seeing my step dad or my brother or one of my other abusers I see all the people who are in my life now. Its like the memories are breaking in but in the dreams none of the abuse is happening to me and it is not being done by the people who have hurt me. I have kinda hit a point in my life where I feel no emotion about anything, I donít cry or get angry, most of the time I feel nothing...until the panic comes rushing in and then I am consumed by fear. These days I spend most of my time thinking about how much better off the people I love would be if they locked me up somewhere, I honestly feel like I am going insane and Iím scared as hell that there is no way back. Just posting here is a huge step for me in many ways but as Iím sure you have all seen I have not gone into much detail about my abuse, mainly because I have not reached the point that I am no longer ashamed. I fear what others will think and how they will act when they know the full extent. I hate the look of pity in a personís eyes and most of the times I think I would rather die than give someone a reason to pity me. I guess Iím posting here because I just donít know what else to do, I want to be better, to be normal for once in my life. I was 4 when the abuse started and 12 when it ended so I am not all that hopeful at this point that there is going to be a life that is not consumed by this hell.
by Emberon 1 Sep 2005
I am a survivor of sexual abuse by my dad. This memory did not come back till I was an adult & suffering from depression, but Iíve always had the fears without the memory. I was also physically abused by my mom, which she denies. No one in my family believes me. I have now decided that if my family will not support me then I will to leave them behind because I am sick of pretending we are normal. Id o not see my mom if I can help it, but it still hurts that she will not face up to what she put me through and say sorry. My dad is dead so he cannot say sorry .I have three lovely children who help me to live again.
by donnaon 28 Aug 2005
I was ten years old when I got rape. My mom's boyfriend was spending the night at our house then he came in the room where I was sleeping in with my sister he asked me if I wanted to go to the store with him and me I said yes. But when we were supposed to go to the store he pasted the store and took me to a carwash and try to touch me. I told him to stop and he said he would take me home cause I guess every time he would try to do something I wouldnít let him. So I wasnít scared because I was going home. But as we were driving in the car, he pasted the house and he was driving for a long time and we were like in a different city or something. so he stop at some place I really don't remember some of the stuff anyways. He was trying to touch me. I tried to get out but I didnít know where I was so I went back to the car and everything happened right there. I was just crying on the way back to the house and I was just quiet and the guy left with his son. I tried to tell my mom but she didnít believe me, so I got taken away from my mom and she got me back. The guy that did this to me is in prison cause he did this to a girl before. Thank you for reading my story.
by Jessicaon 28 Aug 2005
I think this falls in the grey range of rape, my friend said that this was rape...but I don't want to believe it. My co-worker had always liked me I had never considered it. He was 28, and not the smartest and I'm a 21yr old college student. Because he wasn't the smartest I assumed he was harmless. He invited me over for drinks at his house. I had a bad feeling about it but I went, I started drinking and downing them fast. After one drink I was drunk so I foolishly asked for another and another. I don't remember how we got inside, I just remember kissing him and then having to puke. I blacked out again after I heard him say he was going to get a condom. It was so surreal, I didn't really believe that it was happening, I wanted to say something but I couldn't speak. I felt like I was in this dark hole. I fazed in to him on top of me and then again with him behind me. I tried to tell him I was allergic to latex but he did it anyway. Then I woke up feeling gross and sore. I thought it was my fault I felt so ashamed, I wanted to make it not have happened so I went out with him again. I wanted to prove to myself that I was in control and I slept with him again. I know that it was the worst thing to do but I thought that maybe the shame would go away if he became my boyfriend. It made it worse though he said horrible things and ordered me around. My parents are ashamed of me staying out all night and don't even look at me. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I still work with him, he still likes me and has no idea that anything is wrong. I just look at him and a wave of disgust roles over me, to think I let this jerk touch me.
by Andreaon 26 Aug 2005
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This site is offered for support of other survivors, it is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. I don't have any qualifications or training in therapy, I am by no means a professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this web site, use of content, or content of any links leading from this site. If you are in a crisis situation I urge you to contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional.