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rape and sexual abuse survivors share their thoughts rape is NEVER your fault aftermath of rape and sexual abuse
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Date Rape

Date Rape

In many cases of rape and sexual abuse, the predator is a man the woman is dating. This is commonly called Date Rape or Aquaintance Rape. These are the most common type of rape committed.

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Dancing in the Darkness
It happen when I was about 7 or 8. My brothers' "best friend" was over our house playing video games with my brother while my parents were out shopping. My brother told him to watch me while he runs to the store. When my brother left his friend came into my room and started to touch me. When he touched me I hit him in the face. He got mad, threw me to the floor and started to rip my clothes off. He got on top of me and I screamed. Then the door flew open and there were all five of my older brother. My oldest brother told me to put on my clothes, to go into my parent’s room and lock the door. When my parents came home I didn't tell them what happened and neither did my brothers. My brothers' ex-friend ended up in the hospital. He told everyone that he fell down a flight of stairs. My brothers and I are very close to this day.
by caria on 6 Oct 2005

From the time that I can remember I've felt "odd" around certain men. They’ve either looked at me weird or a simple "come sit on my lap" made me uneasy. While I was about to get in the shower one day (I was 15) I saw this shadow underneath the bathroom door. I crouched down and looked and this hand came at me from underneath.” I was just seeing what you were doing" said the voice. That voice belonged to my stepfather. What did he think was going on in the bathroom with the water running? How long had he been watching me and thinking about me IN THAT WAY? How often had he been watching me from underneath the door? I never told my mother what happened and I always said if something happened to me like that I would tell someone. I share this secret with one other person and the same thing happened to her. I’m okay, but I still look at him and wonder what he was thinking. I am not close to him at all and barely talking to him, but the right thing to have done was tell I know.
by barbara on 4 Oct 2005

I'm 26 and just this past year started to tell people that I had been abused through my whole childhood. My dad abused me from the ages 4-12. I finally told my mom at that time, mainly because I didn't want it to happen to my younger sister who was 5 at that time.
She didn't leave him and we never talked about it again. But at least the abuse stopped.
A couple of years later though he raped my sister and she told my mom immediately.
He never did it again to either of us but still lived w/ us.
I could never forgive my mom for letting that happen to my lil sis. In Jan. 05 we started going to family therapy because I have my emotional problems due to the abuse. My sister started pushing me to report our dad and we did. When our extended family found out and they wanted to kill my dad. They were also very upset w/ my mom for not getting us help when we were younger.
I guess my dad couldn't take the pressure and 2 days after the family found out he killed himself.
A lot of my aunts and uncles still don't talk to my mom and others pretend everything is ok. I'm not as close to my mom or sister anymore. I barely revealed my secret to my BF of 10 years b4 my dad died. He was shocked. Nobody could tell, they all thought we were the perfect family. My dad had been sexually abused also as a young child by numerous siblings. This is no excuse but now I at least understand a little more about him. He kept that secret his whole life. He only told my mom after they were married for 25 years.

I've begun to go to therapy and am working on healing.
by Yvonneon 4 Oct 2005

I was raped and molested by my moms boyfriend for years...it's been over 10 years since. I went through all the court preceding and such, but he is still free. I don't sleep. Only when it's light out, or when I'm next to my boyfriend. I don't think I'm ever going to be free. I'll always be bound by the pain, and it's gonna take a lot of time before I'm ok with myself. The hardest thing about being an abuse survivor is finding people you can trust to talk to, and even when you do, they don't understand. That's why websites like these are awesome tools for healing. Thank You.
by Dawnon 1 Oct 2005

Haullie Free is an active advocate for Survivors of Sexual Abuse and Domestic Violence. She is a daughter, a sister, a wife, a painter, a singer and a pianist. She is a Survivor of Childhood Rape, Sexual Association Trauma, Domestic Abuse, Verbal Abuse and Self-Injury. Her abusers range from, her ex step-father who molested and raped her on October 28th, 1991, Physical & Verbal abuse from Her Mother, Her Aunt, Her Uncle, Her Sister, a Childhood Friend, A Daycare Sitter, and a Stranger who violently Sexually assaulted her on December 27, 1999. As a child, Haullie Free learned quickly the roots of silence and held tightly to her tongue for fear of shame, powerlessness and vulnerability to other potential abusers.

Haullie has gone on to use her abuse as a beacon for Survivors around the world. It began when she vowed never to "shut up" again. Learning that the power of one voice could shift the movement of many to speak out and save their lives. She has gone on to become the Founder and Producer of the CD 'Surviving The Truth, an Audio Documentary revealing the stories and aftermath thoughts of 15 other brave Survivors.

She runs a web site along with the CD project(s) advocating and providing information to help guide other Survivors along the path of personal righteousness. Past the shame and and on to a journey of choice and self-acceptance, tracking her very own growth from each day to the next. She has recently been on 'World Talk Radio' for 'Darkness To Light' hosted by Kathleen Brooks, Interviewed about her life and her involvement with the CD 'Surviving The Truth', and has campaigned against a high profile magazines and television shows that depicts gateway behaviors for sexual predators to draw upon their fantasies, to remove ads or shows that intentionally feed on the epidemic.

Recently, Haullie has joined together with Musicians from all over the United States to campaign through song on a compilation CD for Survivors called 'Mindful Lullabies' in which each song tells a story of Survival and hope on the other end of thriving. She believes that It's never too late for a new beginning and that her abuse happened for a reason, to foreshadow her true mission in life...to end the silence one voice at a time.

by Haullie Free on 27 Sep 2005

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This site is offered for support of other survivors, it is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. I don't have any qualifications or training in therapy, I am by no means a professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this web site, use of content, or content of any links leading from this site. If you are in a crisis situation I urge you to contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional.

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