I don't know what to say really. I've only shared my story with one other person but I'm hoping this helps me. I'm 18 years old and this all happened when I was 17. I was dating this guy for almost 2 years. We had many problems but I was so in love that I tried to look past everything. I thought our problems were based on stupid petty things that I just over reacted to. One day, I went over to visit him. He was sitting on the couch with his entire family. I sat down next to him but after a few minutes, he got up and said he wanted to show me something in his room. I got up and followed him to his room. He shut the door behind him. We were just recently in a fight and I felt uncomfortable with the door shut so I tried to reopen it. He held it shut and refused to let me open it. He kept holding it and just said "I just want to show you something, it'll only take a few minutes. I promise." I let go of the door. He walked over to his computer so I started to relax. I walked over to him and looked over his shoulder. He didn't have his computer on. I stepped back really quick. Unfortunately, it wasn't quick enough. He grabbed me and threw me onto the bed. I sat up and scooted towards the top of his bed. He slowly crawled towards me. I just sat there staring at him. He grabbed me and pulled me down farther onto the bed. I tried to push him away but he was a lot stronger. He started touching me. I started to cry and tried to scream out to his family. He laughed and told me to shout as loud as I wanted. He told me that right before he came over to me, he heard his family leave for the store. I panicked. I didn't know what to do. He smiled and leaned back down on top of me. He started kissing my neck and face. Then after a few minutes of kissing me and touching me, he sat up. He started to undo his pants. I tried to push him off of me but I couldn't. Before I realized it, he started having sex with me. I cried and cried. When he was done, he got up and told me to leave. I ran out of his house and never went back.
by Ericaon 9 Oct 2005
I remember the first time I saw this site I cried at almost every story. I tried to post my own story but I couldn't even think about the past it scared me. Now I've gotten enough courage and I'm not afraid.
When I was 9 I lived with my step-mom, dad, and 3 siblings. One of those siblings was my step-momís son, Jason, he was 13. Now, my birth mom had died when I was 5 so I've never really referred to Jason as my stepbrother. Anyways, it stated when I was watching television in my dadís bedroom when Jason came in and lied down beside me. He played with my hair for a while and then asked if I wanted to play a game with him. Of course me being a child I loved games, so I immediately said yes. He said it was called sex. I heard of the term sex before but didn't know it was a game, so I decided to give it a try. He took off my clothes and kissed me all over my body. I felt uncomfortable and pushed him off and ran to the door. He grabbed me by my hair and smacked me. He said that I couldn't tell anyone what he did or he would smack me and hurt me again. I was terrified and didn't tell a soul.
He began to walk in the bathroom while I was taking showers and he would touch me while I was naked. Then, he stopped that for about 3 years. Now I was 12, and had mainly forgotten all about what Jason had done. Jason was 15, and was getting great grades in high school. He had a beautiful girlfriend and loved school. That didn't go on for long. His grades were dropping tremendously and his girlfriend broke up with him. He was very angry.
One night, while I was getting dressed to go to bed, he ran into my room while I was naked. He pushed me on my bed and started caressing and feeling me. Terrified I told him to stop. He hit me and told me to shut up. He raped me that night.
I didn't tell anyone for 3 years. Jason had moved out when he was 18. About 3 days after he did, I broke down crying to my stepmother telling her everything. To my surprise she didn't do anything. But she did comfort me. And I'm happy for that. I'm now 16 and trying to live a normal life. It's hard but I pray everyday. I don't know where I'd be without God.
by Jamie on 8 Oct 2005
I have vague recollections. They are vivid, yet so much detail is in my subconscious. I was somewhere between 4 and 6 and was visiting my dad (my mum and dad divorced when I was an infant). I was on the couch and I asked my dad if he loved me as much as he loved Marilyn Monroe (as he had pictures of her everywhere). He said that he loved me so much that if I wasn't his daughter he'd marry me. The next thing I remember is waking up on an armchair in a strange position, naked. My father was standing in front of me also naked. I quickly closed my eyes in case he knew I was awake, and the next thing I remember is waking again, crying hysterically and asking to go to the phone box and call my mum. I don't recall any physical contact, but had nightmares for 6 years until I told my mum what happened. She doesn't recall me telling her anything. It's hard to deal with because I don't have a solid understanding of what happened. I just know what I felt and saw, and how I have felt ever since. I have a beautiful life, but these memories and feelings leave a heavy and sickening feeling in my stomach and chest. I study Theatre and plan to use it as a healing tool for victims of every kind of abuse. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it is magical. May the angels be with all of you.
by Cassieon 7 Oct 2005
I was raped about 10 years ago, I am now 26. My mom moved in with her new boyfriend when I was 13. It started with just really sexual conversation. I was fascinated at first because nobody had ever spoken to me like that, things that I had only heard in whispers were being expressed to me; I felt so adult! Then he got bolder and touching started. I was so scared, I would go to my room put my head under the covers to hide. He would always find me though. He started penetrating me after a number of touching sections; I had never had sex so it hurt quite a bit at first. The abuse remained for about 2 years until I got out of that house. My mom and that guy are no longer together, but I still get scared when I go to her house.
by Michelleon 7 Oct 2005
My nightmare began in 10th grade when I started receiving notes in my mailbox. I'd come home and check it everyday; they started off sweet, and then grew to disgusting. I figured it would just go away, so I didn't tell anyone. I could handle this; it was just a joke or something. One night at my best friends birthday party, we were all having a good time. We had pizza and started watching Queen Of The Damned, but I decided I needed a walk, I figure now he must have been spying on me, because I walked into the woods, and there he was. He just looked at me, so I turned around ready to go back to my friendís house, figuring this person was just some homeless person. I turned and that's when he caught me. He told me to not struggle. He knew it was my first time and didn't want my boyfriend at the time to get ahead of him. I fought him though. He laid on me, all his weight was crushing me, I used to play wrestling with all my cousin's so I knew how to get one of my hands loose. Luckily there was a broken tree limb next to me. I hit him with that as hard as I could and jumped up and started screaming. He didn't come after me. I thought that was the end, I only told my friend what happened, I didn't get to see his face because it was dark, so I decided to not do anything again. Now my senior year had begun and I hadn't heard anything about him. But it wasn't the same for him. I was at home alone while my mom went out to a party, and I sat with all the doors locked watching Charmed. But the doors weren't all locked, my back door was open and he got in. He had a knife and told me to take him to my room. I could feel the blade on my neck so I did. He said if I touched anything the knife would already be through my throat. He pushed me on the bed, taking off his clothes, and ripping off mine. I screamed but we live in the country. He felt me up and forced himself into me. "Don't fight this time it will hurt." He was saying. "I got to you before your man did, now he's going to think your a who*e, which seems to be true," I struggled but he hit me with the bud of the knife in my head. I blocked out. Only giving him time to push himself into me, I tried to fight, but he kept hitting me. Then it was over. Finally. He left the same way he came. This time I did tell someone, and they caught him just last month.
by Alyon 7 Oct 2005
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This site is offered for support of other survivors, it is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. I don't have any qualifications or training in therapy, I am by no means a professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this web site, use of content, or content of any links leading from this site. If you are in a crisis situation I urge you to contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional.