I am 17 now my mum and dad got divorced when I was about two because he had a drinking problem.
My mum found a new boyfriend and my earliest memory of him as coming into my room at nightwhen I was about 4. He abused me for about 11 years, I was too scared to tell my mum, I thought that he was going to kill me. When I was 14 I went on holiday with my family and I met a guy. We hung out together and I told him nothing would happen between us because I had a boyfriend and he said that was ok. But I guess it wasnt because the next day he raped me. When I got home nothing had changed my stepdad still was abusing me but I dont know what happened because one day he just stopped but I couldnt stand living with him so I eventually told my mum and she didnt believe me. I went to the police and there wasnt enough evidence to prosecute, my mum kicked me out not long after that. She doesnt speak to me any more none of my family speak to me but I live with friends now and a year on I have started to get my life sorted out.
by amyon 5 Apr 2004
I'm a 22 year old female and I've been sexually abused 4 times in my life. The first time I was sexually abused was when I was 6 He was a friend of mine I think he was about 11 or maybe younger I don't really remember I blocked it out until I was like 8 I kept on having dreams about it and I went to my councelor at camp one day and she told my parents then the police or whatever I don't really remember it but I know that my parents didn't believe me they said I did it for "attention" something they've said all my life. The second time I was 12 years old and I was raped by a friend of mine who is actually a gay guy he was like 16 at the time. He and I were really good friends and one day I was riding my bike with my other friend and he said "hey Autumn wanna watch a movie?" and I told my other friend that I would be back. And she said alright and so then He lead me in the house to his room locked his door and made me watch porn. And then he had his fun with me. I remember feeling so dirty and when I got home I took a shower and pretended like nothing happened (I'm really good at pretending everything is fine when it's really not) And later on I told my mom that I had sex for the first time because I knew they wouldn't believe me. Then when I was 15 years old my best friends Uncle raped me he kidnapped me in his car took me to mc donalds of all places and then he asked me what I wanted and I was in shock and there was a knife next to him and I was scared of him and so I just said "whatever" and he ordered something and then he took me to his house and he took me to his room and he immediately took my shirt off and my bra off and my pants and panties off and I was trying to fight him but he was way too strong for me but I kept on fighting and he ended up cutting me with the knife because I wasn't being a "good little girl" for him. I ended up getting dropped off around the block from my house and I pretended that my friends house was my house and he left. And then I ran to my house and took a shower cuz I felt so disgusting and I was bleeding so I burned my shirt and put on my pj's and did the dishes and waited for my parents to come home then I pretended as if nothing happened. And the last time I was sexually abused was when I was 18 years old I was with my friend and she said she knew these guys that were driving into my complex and so I was like oh and she wanted to smoke speed with them and I was like whatever because I just wanted to forget about my being a good girl all the time so I tried it too. And they ended up taking us to their house and well she had sex with this guy and I was just sitting in the room looking at a magazine and then this other guy wanted to "talk" to me and he ended up throwing me on his bed I hit the headboard and he started ripping my clothes off and he had sex with me and I didn't wake up for a long time but when I did I freaked out and was very scared of him and he seen that I had woken up and he threw me on the floor and I crawled to the bathroom and he followed me in the bathroom and I don't remember what happened after that all I remember is my "friend" and I tried to get out of the house and he locked us in the house well we jumped the fence and walked miles and miles she slept while I just layed on the ground at some apartments and then I remember us walking into albertsons and staying in the bathroom for hours because it was sometime in december and it was really cold. And this whole time I couldn't feel my legs and I was still so freakin' high. And I remember talking spanish the whole time cept when I called my friend to pick us up. It was like 6 in the morning but she picked us up anyway and then she dropped me off at my parents house and I went to sleep. That's all I remember. I've been verbally abused and physically abused and emotionally and mentally all by my dad now but I still love him and I know that it's not his fault he's just tough on me.
by Butterfly on 3 Apr 2004
When I was 10 years old, my father started abusing me. It started with touching and soon after turned into raping me and having sex with me. I was so scared. It happened every single day, a few times a day. I had to be nervous everywhere in my house, the shower, my room, my bed, the living room or his room....everywhere possible. I finally one day opened my mouth and said something. My mom threw him outside that night and would not let him in. He slept outside and she almost gave him rat posion. The next day he turned himself in and I watched it all. I watched them handcuff him, I was about 13 or so then. A few months later my uncle started doing the same thing all over again. He did all the smae things my ada did to me and he drank a lot too.
After a while it started to seem almost natural because it happened so much. I knew that it wasn't natural but it felt like that. I knew that what they were doing was a lot of damage and knew that it was one of the worst things that can happen to someone. My father went to jail for one stincky year, my uncle did not because he denied it and there was not enough evidence to convict him. At this time I was almost 14, my uncle raped and abused me for a few months. When I was 19, my stepfather started with me too. He touched me a few times and then I spoke up and said something but my mom did nothing.
Now I;m just about 23 and married. All this is just very hard to figure out, some days I feel I can't do it anymore. It gets so hard that I almost want to give up but I can't and will not. I have flashbacks all day long, I feel defenceless and feel that I'm the weakest person. I feel alone and sometimes feel like screaming at the top of my lungs, I just wish that everyone around me, who I love and care for, could really knew what I'm going through. I'm working really hard to get past this all and it's going to take a very long time but I have to do it.
by JESSon 2 Apr 2004
I am a 39 years old single mom, who was assaulted in my own home. He assaulted my 18 years old daughter as well. He broke in, tied us up,robbed,and a*****ed us.
by Jennifer RN on 31 Mar 2004
I'm 17 now. I told my 2 best friends about my dad sexually abusing me and raping me. I had to tell my mum about him. It was hard, coz we are best friends and i spend a lot of time with my mum but what she didnt know was that her husband, my dad was hurting me. It started when I was 5yrs old, he told me "it ll be our little secret" and said not to tell mummy because she would have a heart attack if I told. This scared me a lot. He would teach me things like body parts etc. I was painfully shy when I was little and was so embrassed when he was raping me - I'd put a pillow over my face so I wouldnt have to the the sick pleasure look on his face. He would rub my breasts and as I got older, he licked,sucked and bit my breasts. I hated it, he was very rough. It hurt a lot and I would have purple bruises the next day. He went down on me-sucking and licking my vagina. He made me suck him off and 'ride' him. He was very careful of the whereabouts of my mum - he'd make sure the car went out of the driveway because he tried to seduce me then grabbed me and dragged me into his bedroom. I had to obey because he used to grab my arm a lot, he has a short temper and lately i recieved a punch in the stomach from him. I was 12 yrs old when he first had intercourse with me. I blocked it out a lot, dont know how I did that but I did. Sometimes I think he put sleeping tablets in with my panadol, I used to get headaches after he used me, and he would get the panadol for me. He has a history of sexual abuse - he touched his 2 daughters, my half-sisters - they took him to court but he was proven innocent. But now it happened to me, he will go to jail soon. And mum was never sick. He's twisted and so sick. He belongs in the gutter. I'm trying to deal with it, it has resurfaced in the last couple of months, I only told my mum a week ago. If anyone can possibly give me pointers...as to how to cope, I would be eternally greatful. My heart goes out to all of you.
by Lizzyon 31 Mar 2004
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This site is offered for support of other survivors, it is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. I don't have any qualifications or training in therapy, I am by no means a professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this web site, use of content, or content of any links leading from this site. If you are in a crisis situation I urge you to contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional.