Rape and sexual abuse survivors - Dancing In The Darkness resource for rape and sexual abuse survivors. help and support for rape and sexual abuse survivors
rape and sexual abuse survivors share their thoughts rape is NEVER your fault aftermath of rape and sexual abuse
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Date Rape

Date Rape

In many cases of rape and sexual abuse, the predator is a man the woman is dating. This is commonly called Date Rape or Aquaintance Rape. These are the most common type of rape committed.

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Dancing in the Darkness
Well my story is simple. I am an idiot. When I was 13 a friend of mines father raped me repeatedly for 6 months. Everything from actual intercourse to using objects, ect. I thought that I was over it though I never had any counselling or anything and now I have developed severe panic and depression. I don't know what to do. Cutting helps for the moment, but not long term. There are other things. This wasn't the first rape. I think that I have a tattoo on my head that says "Rape Me!! I enjoy the Pain"
by Andreaon 22 Jun 2004

My father molested me begining when I was 4 years old, up until I was 16, and I moved in with my mom. It's a very long story of why I didn't leave, very long. Then I moved down here, and a neighbor told me that he would be my best friend. He knew that I was going through a rough time, and he used me. He sexually abused me for about a year until I told someone. This man was scary. He held a gun to my head, but, I finally told someone, and I feel a little more free then I did before.
by Samanthaon 22 Jun 2004

Hi I dont really have a story but my sister Kiana is being molested by her dad. She told my mom that her daddy was touching her inappropriately and fondling her and wanting to be more sexual with her and it broke my mom`s heart to know that her dad would do something like that. I feel like punching the guy.
by sierraon 18 Jun 2004

Its hard for me to talk about this but I was sexually assaulted at work by a coworker We were doing rounds and checking on patients when he got me in the room alone and touched my chest then he shoved his arm down my pants and pushed his fingers in me then he made me get up on the sink and forced my legs apart and pushed his fingers in again I was afraid to fight him for fear he would hurt me even worse. I tried to get away and he grabbed my arm then he tried to make me perform oral sex on him. I have nightmares every night of it happening I remember being on top of the sink when he was inside of me and I remember trying to put it out of mind what was happening and wishing someone would walk in and help me nobody did. Im still trying to get over it I get depressed I want to harm myself sometimes I have awful flashbacks. Im able to type it but unable to talk about it verbally
by lindaon 18 Jun 2004

I was 5 years when it happened and contined until I was 8 years old.

Background:
We were a poor family. My Mom was a cheapskate. Even the doctor told her that if she did not feed us properly with the food that we wanted to eat and not the food she expected us to eat, we would remain malnutrient. My Dad was a happy-spirit broken by the criticism of my mom. He was not much help, especially when she would get the kids ganged up upon my dad. To continue saving money, she would criticize me about my looks: I am too ugly to wear a dress. Stop trying to stare yourself at the mirror, you are becoming arrogant: wack! wack!
We were a poor family, my dad force me to give him my college-saving jar for purpose he will not say, punishing me in the process.

To make-up for the fact that we were so poor, I allowed my cousins: 17-22 years old to have sex with me for $1 a pop. I was only 5 years old and that last for 3 years until I fought back.

I did develop a low-self esteem. It was obvious in highschool where I dressed down and was over-excessive in my dressing (5 pants at one time). I walked with my head held low. I was critical and rude to everyone. I did not have much friends. Any yet, I excelled in school! School was always emphasized at home. Friends and looks were critcized.

In College, I was a very sexual person. Yet, I was afraid of men. I wanted to become a prositute. It was a skill I knew well. But I was too busy with school to pursue a night job.

I met some wonderful people at College though. A friend of mind tore off my clothing and told me I was beautiful. He starting taking pictures of me. We never had sex, because he was afraid of destroying me. He remains a friend still. I lost weight and was receiving attention from men. But I had a hard time understand how to deal with men and sex, and my role as a female (not a sex object, but a companion).

Now I am 27 years old. Geting my MS degree in Engineering, dating a gentle soul, and trying to accept my past. I still have flaskbacks, telling myself it is the past. It was not my fault. I do not remember how many rapers. I just know only a few. I still see them today. I deal with them during family reunions. I never told my parents becasue they were not considered the most supportive parents in the world. Also I am raised in a traditional asian family. These things are usually kept hush hush any way.
Life goes on...

-randompassbyer@yahoo.com
A survivor still learning how to better survive.



by standing tallon 16 Jun 2004

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This site is offered for support of other survivors, it is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. I don't have any qualifications or training in therapy, I am by no means a professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this web site, use of content, or content of any links leading from this site. If you are in a crisis situation I urge you to contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional.

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