Rape and sexual abuse survivors - Dancing In The Darkness resource for rape and sexual abuse survivors. help and support for rape and sexual abuse survivors
rape and sexual abuse survivors share their thoughts rape is NEVER your fault aftermath of rape and sexual abuse
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Featured Category:
Date Rape

Date Rape

In many cases of rape and sexual abuse, the predator is a man the woman is dating. This is commonly called Date Rape or Aquaintance Rape. These are the most common type of rape committed.




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Dancing in the Darkness
Im very confused right now. Im not sure if i should tell anyone what happened to me. I dont want people looking at me different or hating me. Im very ashamed of what happened and cant help feeling like its all my fault. It started at school. I stayed after to finish a report when I got done early I decided to just wal;k around the school until my mom or dad came to pick me up. I was walking when I saw my friend erik and 3 other guys I didnt know. He called me over there and introduced me to his friends. 2 of them were 17 erik was 15 his other friend was 16. Im 14. We all walked around together. We ended up behind the cafiteria. Before I knew what was happening I was being dragged into the woods behind my school. I was screaming and telling them to let me go but it didnt help any. One of them held my hands while another pulled my clothes off. I could see the other to laughing and saying things. I couldnt really hear them over my screaming tho. i was lying there naked when one of them (we'll call him danny) lyed on top of me and pried my thighs apart with his knee. He began to rape me. I was in so much pain i couldnt even scream anymore. When he was finished the switch spots and the next began to rape me. Then it was eriks turn. I was just waiting for him 2 be my friend again and stop all of this. But he didnt he went along and raped my also. then it was the next guys trun. They passed me around like this for what seemed like hours. I know it wasnt tho. It was 3o minutes at the most. I cant remember much other then what iv already told u. But I do remember one of them preforming oral sex on my. When they were done they left me lying there naked, broken, abused while they sat around and talked. Finally one of them pulled me up and made me get dressed they walked me to the fronte of the school like nothing had just happened. I was in shock. My mom came and picked me up I tried my best to act as if nothing had happened. I got home and took a 4 hour shower. I scrubbed and scrubbed but I just couldnt get them off of me....out of me. Its only been 2 weeks...This is the 1st Iv spoken of it. I want to tell I know I should But im scared of whats going to happen. Will people look down on me? Will people even believe me? Iv resolted in cutting myself to ease the pain. It helps sum. But if anyone can help me just taalk to me my aim screen name is PzychoMonkeyz thanx for your time
by jeson 3 Jul 2004

Well my story is a little different from most, my Mother sexually abused me. I can't say when it started because I truly don't remeber. I think that it was always there, the touching, not being allowed to go to the washroom alone or close the door when I was in the bath. She abused me in her own ways, forcing me to perform oral sex on her, and doing things to me. My Father worked out of town alot and was rarely home, my mother was not faithful to him but I didn't understand this til I was older. When I was about 5 years old, she was drinking in the kitchen with a male friend. I got up to go to the washroom and when I came out she called me over to her, she sat me on her lap and started touching me. When I tried to get up and go back to bed she fell into a rage, adn called me horrible names, she carried me to her room adn threw me on the bed. He followed us, next thing I know I am between them naked on the bed, she foreces my face between her legs, and then he is touching me, all the time she is telling me I am bad, naughty, dirty. She pulls me up onto her body, my back against her stomach, he spreads my legs and rapes me. Later they are back in the kitche drinking, I wake up in my mothers bed naked and confused, when I move everyfibre of my being hurts, I see blood and stuff on the sheets and know how much she hates dirty sheets, I pull that sheet off and put a clean one on, I go to the bathroom, and run a tub, by this time they are in the living room, and cannot see me. I have a bath and take the towel and sheet and put them in the washing machine. I crawl back up to my bed, but cannot sleep, I crawled into my closet and slept on the floor curled up. The next morning, she woke me up with a big nice breakfast and told me we were going for a girls day out, I was shocked, she spoiled me that day news clothes haircut, everything. But everythign had changed, she started regularly taking me to bed with her male friends, and made me preform oral sex on them, then them raping me, and raping me anally as well. This went on all of my life until I was 14 and ran away, I met and married my abusive exhusband, we married at 16 as I was emancipated at 15, I had my first daughter at 16 and my second at 19, my husband beat me raped me, tortured me mentally, but the day he rasied a hand to slap my daughter I left him. Been recovering ever since...

by Taraon 29 Jun 2004

My father started sexually abusing me when I was 5 years old, when my mom was out of town. It started with him fondling me and having me preforn oral sex on him. Then it progressed to anal sex. He also showed me porn and adult movies. about a year ago i told my mom and after 11 years he was arrested. He spent 4 months in jail. Then about a month after he was arrested i was raped by a supposed friend. i am 18 years old.
by catherineon 24 Jun 2004

Hi my abuse begain 2 years ago when my mom moved her boyfriend in with us. My mom works nights so I was left there at home alone with him every night. a few weeks after he moved in he told me that I needed some disicpline in my life and that he had talked with my mom and she gave him permission to punish me. The next week I was in my room listning to my radio and he came in and asked me what I had done with the remote to the tv. I told him I left it on the couch and he got mad and started yelling at me. He said it wasnt there and told me to get up and find it. I was ready for bed and we live in a trailer with no air conditioning in my room so all I had on was a tshirt and panties. I walked to the living room and looked on the couch for the remote and felt in the coushens till I found it. I handed it to him and started to walk back to my room. He grabed me and told me that we were going to have a little talk with the belt. He told me to bend over and grab my ankels and he took off his belt. I tried to talk my way out of it but he wouldnt listen. I bent over and I could tell he saw my panties, he just stared at me for what seemed like 5 minutes. He then smacked his belt down across my butt many times, I was cring and he told me to go to my room. This type of punishment beganin happining 2 to 3 times a week for a few months, then it got worse. One weekend night he came home from the bar with his drinking friend Amber, he was really drunk and so was she. They came in my room and turned on the light and told me to get up, he said that Amber twisted her ankel cause I didnt leave the porch light on for them and that I was going to be punished. Amber gigeled and asked him ohh and how are we going to punish her. Hearing that made me want to through up. I felt sick at my stomach. He told her that I get a spanking when I mis behave but this time it would be a spanking to remember. I heard Amber gigle again and tell him something in his ear. He told me to stand up and bend over and grab my ankels. then he told Amber that he had to go get his belt, (he was wearing shorts that night) she asked him if he had a padel and told him she would like to hear the sound the padel makes when it hits my bare bottom. I heard that but didnt think he would go that far he had never asked me to pull my panties down befor. He told her no but he could make one for her real quick. (he is a construction worker) They went outside and I heard him sawing a board. They came back in and she was holding a paddel about 20 inches long. He told me to turn around and bend over. I wanted to get this over so I did.he took the paddel from her and she came over to the side of me. he smacked me a couple times and Amber said my ankel is hurt really bad I think this should be on her bare butt. I was so scared. I felt his hands slip under my panties and he pulled them down. Then I felt Ambers hand on my butt she was fondeling me. Then the spankings begain I got alot more than I ever did and it hurt alot more. when he stoped Amber walked over to him and said dont stop. I tried to run and he pushed me over on the bed and begain spanking me again. I looked back and saw amber with her hand in his shorts masterbating him. A little later I felt his penis aginst my butt. she was pushing him agenst me and then I heard her tell him something in a whisper and I heard her kissing nim. I closed my eyes and I felt her hand again by my anus then I felt him pushing in he did it analy with me for what seamed like a long time. It hurt so bad I felt like I had to poop. when he finished he pulled out and shot his stuff on my back. Amber begain rubbing it all over me. they went into the kitchen and I cryed my self to sleep. I never told my mom cause befor she met him she tried to kill her self many times and now she is happy with him. this kind of stuff happend alot more times untill 6 weeks ago when my real dad got out of prison and I moved in with him. I still havent told anyone but I am safe now..
by Stacyon 24 Jun 2004

Well I guess I gotta dump this junk somewhere. My first step-father was the man who broke parts of me forever. He married my mother when I was two and I guess he always was touching me. My mom was constantly in and out of the hospital and when I was six she spent a month in the hospital. This gave him plenty of time and access to do his damage, that's when he first raped me. He came in my room one night and said he had to take my temperature. He put a trashbag under me with a towel on top of it and tried to rape me but wouldn't fit. He took out a jack knife and cut me "down there". I guess I kinda fainted or something because it's a little blurry after that. I remember waking up with a start as he "cleaned" me with rubbing alcohol and I started screaming and then I threw up. He got really angry and took me into the bathroom and bathed me. After that he raped quite regurlarly until my mom divorced him when I was twelve. I am twenty-seven now and still very far from "normal" but I have a gentle and understanding husband who is more than willing to walk me to the bathroom at night when it is dark. I consider myself lucky and blessed that I survived but still have deal with a lot of rage issues.
by speakssoftlyon 22 Jun 2004

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This site is offered for support of other survivors, it is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. I don't have any qualifications or training in therapy, I am by no means a professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this web site, use of content, or content of any links leading from this site. If you are in a crisis situation I urge you to contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional.

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