I was a victim of sexual abuse at the age of ten. My older brother was the perpetrator and he himself was molested by our uncle. My family is German and I have since found out from family members that my mother's family was rittled with this activity. It went on with me till I was 28yr. I married and thought I was fine but went into auto-pilot and went of with an older male friend twice through my now ruined marriage. My acting out was the poison that lost me the thing I needed most, my soulmate.
My mother would wrestle with me and my older brother. She encouraged nudity in unhealth ways. I am a nudists but I do not see it as a way to express sexual desires. She and her brother had a thing going as did her parents with their children.
I am in therapy now and getting it right within myself. I urge all men that have had any sexual abuse to seek out help before you ruin something special in your life. Acting out is not "cheating", it is part of the sickness inflicted on the victim of abuse. I was abused at such a young age and for such a long time that I actually developed two lives, each totally separate of themselves. Male sexual abuse ranges from wrestling/groaping to full out rape. When it happens, your emotional development stops and you survive the best way you can through all the pain, shame, sexual identity issues, etc. until you face it or worse, get discovered. This is not a rare thing, in prison alone, there are 18,000 rapes among males each day! Think about the larger population of our society and it is stagering to think about.
Be brave and find a good male sex abuse therapist and you will be a much happier person. With all I have lost, I have gained the real me, a journey that was harsh but well worth it. All good things to everyone!
by Stephenon 24 Jul 2004
I am now 17 years old. When I was 14 a guy that I considered my brother came into my room the night before Thanksgiving and started touching me. I laid there and prayed that he would stop. This went on for a year and a half; every time he and his wife and son would come to visit my dad he would come into my room at night and do things to me. When I was 15 he asked my dad and mom if my sister and I could come and visit him and his wife for a couple weeks. I really didn't want to go but he told me if I didn't push my parents to let me go bad things would happen to me. While I was staying there I told him everything had to stop or I would tell his wife what was going on. He then raped me and asked me who was going to believe a whore. He continued to rape me for a year after that. The sick thing about him was he always told me that he loved me and got hurt when I wouldn't say anything back. I eventually broke down and told my family about 6 weeks ago and it has helped me a lot. I have a meeting with a woman tomorrow to get the ball rolling on sending him to court. Maybe someday he will be behind bars where he can't hurt anyone else.
by Katieon 21 Jul 2004
Hello to all, this is Applebottoms02. I was raped on August 31, 2003 in my home by a male acquaintance, we were supposed to have a lunch together but things didn't turn out that way. Yes after he had raped me I did report it to the police and yes I did go to the hospital to get a exam, since after the rape, there were two charges on him, rape and abduction, in March 12, 2004 there was a preliminary hearing, after the hearing he was released on a $1, 000 bond, the total bond was $10,000, the grand jury was in April of 2004, after all that he decided to take a plea bargin, which was that instead of being charged with rape, plea guilty to sexual battery, 12 months jail time suspended for 5 years, no jail, no fine , no nothing, so yes he did get away with the crime he did to me. Yes It has been 10 months since the rape, I have a lot of angry towards him and toward my lawyer but I guess there is nothing else that I can to expect to try to move on with my life, moving is not as easy as people think it is though, I was in counseling but I had just stop going, I am thinking about going back to pick the piece so I am able to try to move on to the best of my ability, but I will never, ever, never forgive or forget of what that bastard has done to me so now I have to live the rest of my life with the aftermath of the case and not him, thank you all for listening to my story, if you like you can email me if you want to.
by Ieshaon 21 Jul 2004
I was raped on the first of May, 2004. I was at a party with my friends and I found out that my ex-boyfriend was there and there is a long story about him. I didnít want him to know that I was there so I was trying to leave. He found out I was there and caught up to me before I could leave. He said he just wanted to talk about the break up and I agreed. We started to have a conversation and then it turned into a yelling match. He said that we should talk some where else. I got in his car and we drove to the park. It was really dark since it was around 11:30pm at night. I asked him where he was going and he told me to shut up. He took me to the outskirt woods of the park. He told me to get out of the car. i was terrified. He came up to me and pulled out a gun to the side of my ribs. He told me to talk until he stopped. There he hit me and raped me. I wonít go into details of what he did, but it was horrible and unforgettable. I reported him about a week and a half after it happened. Now we are going to court in October I think and I hope he get what he deserves.
by Cadenon 20 Jul 2004
I was raped, several times over several years by the same sick person. I have been told the best thing to do is get psychotherapy to deal with it and that I am a victim and that I need help and that I am sad. But I don't think so. I am a survivor, I've made big progress on my own and maybe I don't need a therapist. Maybe I'll tell my story in my next post.
by Parihan on 19 Jul 2004
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This site is offered for support of other survivors, it is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. I don't have any qualifications or training in therapy, I am by no means a professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this web site, use of content, or content of any links leading from this site. If you are in a crisis situation I urge you to contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional.