Rape and sexual abuse survivors - Dancing In The Darkness resource for rape and sexual abuse survivors. help and support for rape and sexual abuse survivors
rape and sexual abuse survivors share their thoughts rape is NEVER your fault aftermath of rape and sexual abuse
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Date Rape

Date Rape

In many cases of rape and sexual abuse, the predator is a man the woman is dating. This is commonly called Date Rape or Aquaintance Rape. These are the most common type of rape committed.

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Dancing in the Darkness
Survivors Thoughts - 4 - - 2005-03-02 11:48:20

Secondary Survivor
My fiance was the victim of Aquaintance Rape about 10 months ago. It has been a long journey for us both. If there are other spouses looking to share guidance or seeking input on helping the one you love survive and heal, feel free to email me. Stay Strong, it does get better...
By Eddie Nov 11 2004

Fear of Intimacy
I was abused when a young man by my father. It has taken me many years to face this and to deal with the memories and issues this has left me with. I have a hard time forming relationships with women because I am afraid of being touched, afraid of being cared for without any bad things then happening. It is as though my body remembers and triggers fear every time I am close to another person (male or female).
It is also confusing for women who get to know me because they get the wrong idea. They often feel I am messing them around or being off with them, when in fact I really like them.
Also I have been actually told that, on the rare occasions that I do get close to a lady I really like, that I like them too much!! This they are not used to either. It seems almost impossible to get it right, the balance between touch and love, and avoiding feeling fear because the touch is triggering full memories for me and my partners do not understand.. how could they after all.
Recently I met someone who was really like me, and we got on very well, but the same thing happened again, only it actually happened for both of us the same way. Right now we are having time apart, but this time, something is very different, and I can really feel somehow safe, even though the head would say "donít get involved". All I am really saying is that it is so hard for a man to be seen this way, as vulnerable too, that he is also afraid. Society places such a role on men to be a certain way, yet those who have survived abused childhoods are often left with these sorts of things to cope with, and all too often alone as well.
I am hoping in time that this person, who is also very aware of her issues too, will return to me. Meeting someone I could understand, and who could understand me, seems so far in life, to be rare gift. So there is hops for us all after all.
By Maxine Nov 05 2004

Aftermath
I feel like there is nothing I can do I feel like nothing is getting better. I feel like it's all my fault I shouldn't have been there I beat myself up day after day I feel like everyone is pushing me saying just forget it. Act like it never happened... it happened and I hate them I want to kill them I wish they would die. Why me why do I have to suffer, why couldn't they keep there di*k in their pants. I hate myself I look in the mirror and think your nasty you could have screamed louder you could have pushed them harder why didn't you fight harder????
By AliOct 25 2004

Aftermath
My name is Connie and I was sexually abused (I gave my dad oral only) He would put his hand in the back of my head and push my mouth back and forth and then when he would be ready to come he would pull out. this went on almost every day from age 15 to 18 and the off and on until age 30. MY MOTHER KNEW/SAW IT WAS HAPPENING. SHE WOULD GO TO BED AND HE WOULD COME IN MY ROOM AND THEN SHE WOULD QUIETLY WALK DOWN THE SMALL HALLWAY, TURN ON MY LIGHT, SIGN, TURN OFF THE LIGHT AND WALK AWAY. My whole family hates me becaue they don't believe me of course. my mother confesses it to me all the time and even to my sister-in-law over lunch one day. I am seeing a psychologist now but does anyone have any suggestions or did this happen to them and is there any way i can get my mom to confess to the family it did happen. She lies and lies. thank you
By Connie Oct 12 2004

Fear of Intimacy
I was a sexual abuse victim for 15 years, and now as a survivour there are millions of difficulties I must cope with, and one of them is fear of intimacy. I have problems with contact: visual, emotional and, of course, physical. I seriously think I will never have a boyfriend because of all of that.I've been reading Chopras's quotes on spiritaul things lately because his words make me feel alive. I'm not a pessimistic person, quite the contrary, it's just there are certain things I think I won't be able to experience, one of them being erotic/romantic love.well, that's all for now. thanks
By RitaOct 07 2004

Self Injury
I used to self mutilate. At first it was just hitting self, and banging my head against walls. Then that was not enough, and I started to take a razor blade and make surface cuts to see blood, to feel on the outside, distract from emotional pain. But soon that was not enough, and I needed something that would make the pain last longer on the outside. I started to burn my arm, the pain would last longer. Then I started to think to myself why am I doing this? I am only causing myself more pain, more harm, and more problems to deal with/overcome. So I had to come to a point in my life where I had to stop, all alone, no one to help me but me, but overcome it on my own. I spent years in counseling, spent years reading self help books and true stories to get to where I am today. A person who still has a desire to harm, but fights it, for I know that is what is best for me. It's not easy, its like any other addiction, once an addict always an addict whether you do the deed or not. Just my opinion. FONT>

By Corie on Oct 04 2004




This site is offered for support of other survivors, it is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. I don't have any qualifications or training in therapy, I am by no means a professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this web site, use of content, or content of any links leading from this site. If you are in a crisis situation I urge you to contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional.

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