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Date Rape

Date Rape

In many cases of rape and sexual abuse, the predator is a man the woman is dating. This is commonly called Date Rape or Aquaintance Rape. These are the most common type of rape committed.

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Dancing in the Darkness
Survivor Thoughts - - 2004-09-29 16:45:51

Due to school and personal issues I haven't been able to update this section in over a year. I do receive countless submissions and I thank you all for breaking your silence and contribute to dancinginthedarkness.com.

I will try to update this page as soon as possible. In the mean time, you may read the past submissions and be inspired by these courageous survivors.


I am angry a lot. Most of the time, I lose control over the silliest thing. The thing that is most confusing is how I create chaos constantly. I was sexually abused by my father from the age of 7-12. I really cannot stand anyone on my father's side of the family. I am so angry with my grandma for calling me a lying bitch and I am so angry at myself for feeling that it was normal at the time. I am so angry because I cannot seem to get a grip on my life. I am never satisfied and I am extremely sarcastic. But what angers me most is how I lie to people about myself because I hate myself!

by Angie on Sep 27 2004

Still being abused, still angry, bitter and up and down with depression. The abuse seemed to have began since birth...it's all I remember, through the years it's come in a few different forms though it's never been physical. Now I'm at the age of reasoning, formative years just about over, never had professional therapy...not even talked it out with another human being, lol "it" is a compilation of many many things. Trying on my own, which is not very effective...did I mention I'm still angry and bitter?!.......rofl funny thing is, I'm only 17, only 17 and I fear screwed up so much it'll take a bucket full of miracles and people who genuinely care to fix me.
Thanks for the outlet.

by pueri-de-tristitia on Sep 11 2004

I feel comforted reading your stories, knowing I am not alone in my suffering. My father abused me sexually and phsically for years and years. I am in marriage but i feel so insecure and the rage comes pouring out on him in destructive ways. I wish I could feel good about myself, I wish I could feel like I was an Ok person, attractive and loving. I always feel not good enough and the sadness and anger are so intense i just want to die sometimes. I hold on to what little hope remains. My therapist is wonderful. We can get through this..there is meaning in all of this. I know. Hang on to hope.
Peace and love to all

by Heather on Sep 08 2004

Anger is such a hard one for me. I am 27y/o and was molested by my older brother from the age of 10-13. I am not angry with him. I wonít allow myself to be angry with him. I am angry at myself all the time, I am angry at my mum for not knowing and not protecting me from him and I am angry at the people who care for me the most and most of the time I donít even know why. I am like a time bomb.... I can go off at any second at the wrong person and hurt everyone around me with my rage. I have just done it to one of my closest friends and now she hates me and I fear I have lost her forever because I exploded with rage at her a couple of weeks ago because I was raped and thought that she blamed me for it and thought it was my fault.... even though I thought exactly the same thing. I projected my anger I had for myself onto her and now its all messed up. I wish I could express my anger in a healthy way without hurting others who care for me. Why cant I be angry at my brother? He ruined my life and instead i hate everyone else except him.

by Bec on Sep 05 2004

I was 14. They used a cocktail of drugs and drink to paralyze me whilst one held me down and the other used me. We were just kids but they had done this before. At some point I started projecting vomiting, they dragged me out into the street and left me to die. I still don't understand the way I feel about what happened. I know it was wrong and bad but it never really seemed to effect me. I felt numb and never uttered a word to anyone about it, I thought it was my fault. When I was 17 I told my then boyfriend. He actually became aroused by my story. Again, I thought it was my fault and became embarrassed and angry with myself. I am now 20 and recently shared that part of my past with my fiancť. He has helped me to realize that it was a dreadful experience and now I can finally say that Iím starting to feel, I am angry.

by Zoe on Sep 04 2004

I've lived my whole life bursting with anger. I was sexually abused by at least three people, the main one my brother. He abused me from the time I was about five until he went to prison . My mother found out but to her it was no big deal, her brother had done the same to her. So I've lived a life of damaging relationships, drug abuse and exploding on anyone and everyone in my path. I started out beating walls, hitting myself in the head as hard as I could and ended up beating my husband. Cognitive therapy has helped some but I've got so many emotional things to deal with that its going to take time. I want to find some kind of help with my anger along with the rest. Thanx

by Dragonlady on Aug 07 2004

I am now 27 and the incident of my abuse started when I was 8 years old. I finally had the courage to tell my mom when I was 11years old and instead of comforting me, she acted like she really did not believe me or that it was not that bad. She also had just borrowed money from the person who molested me and was more consumed with telling me how she wished that I would have told her before she borrowed the money. Well, I immediately felt bad for telling her and like the issue of her borrowing the money was more important than her own daughter's feelings!! She also told me to not tell my dad because he might kill him. As a result, just last November I had a breakdown and told my dad! He seemed to feel very sorry about it but then both my mom and dad continued to celebrate the holidays with him and his wife. I just now am starting to feel very ANGRY for what happened to me and the way it was dealt with! If my mom would have only comforted me and let me cry on her shoulder then I would have probably not be dealing with so much anger, depression, confusion and lack of self-worth that I do now! I myself have a very supportive husband and two children of my own and I am extremely overprotective of them. But, very lucky to have them around me everyday to keep reminding me that I do matter and I am important and LOVED!! It is still very hard and some days are just about too much to deal with but that does along with GOD keep pushing me on toward healing and really being fulfilled, happy and to allow myself to move on!!!......

by innocencelost on Jun 09 2004

Thank you, all of you. 25 years after the abuse, finally I'm getting angry. Rage is SUCH an understatement. I fantasize what I would do to someone I knew was hurting another child. My rage scares me. I've been in therapy for over a year.It's taken me that long to feel safe enough to let it out!

by tracey on Apr 29 2004

There's so much truly "dangerous" anger in me, that sometimes I think I have another personality because I just cannot control the rage; I get to the point where I just want to destroy anything and every thing in sight, or else, I have horrific urges to stab myself with a pen or a similar object, or bang my head on the wall or cut myself with a razor.
Not kill myself, not yet, just hurt, punish, mutilate myself because I honestly hate myself. I feel like there's like, 3 people inside of me: the calm, wise quiet, older, maternal one; the angry, killer one, and the wee girl who never learned how to talk. And then, there's my real self, the one that I think is dumb and stupid, and if I could get my hands on the real self, I'd kill her'cuz she makes so many mistakes and I'm clumsy and absent-minded and ditzy, and I'm afraid that I'll never find the "real" me.
At 51 y/o, my life is already 1/2 over and I've got a 19 y/o son who has as many and as severe disabilities as I do, not one single family member for support(I'm an orphan) and no friends at all. My son feels like I've abandoned him, and I feel like I'VE been abandoned as well. And the perps who have victimized me, years ago, well, it's exactly like Ebeneezer Scrooge with all of HIS ghosts; my perps still affect me, like they can reach from beyond the grave. I'm really scared that I won't get better before I die...they(perps)have robbed us of our childhood, robbed us of our womanhood (because I can't enjoy sex, lovemaking), they've violated us and taken every last ounce of self-respect that I may have had. I have plenty of empathy for everyone else, but I hate myself and I'm explodingly furious over everything....I'm lost in the madness......

by palominomare on Apr 10 2004

I am 25 and after an entire lifetime of pain I am finally ready to have someone help me. However, the one thing I can't get past is the anger.
I am angry for the person I should have grown up to be, the small hollow shell of that women I am now. They took away my life I don't know if I believe that I can work through this.


by Jess on April 06 2004

I have never been an angry person. That is what I thought. The truth is, I was never allowed to be an angry person. Growing up in a volitile home I learned that you had to be nice and quiet. I guess the anger was buried through the years.
After I was raped by someone I knew I buried the anger again. Years later here it is. The anger. It wells up inside and sneeks out at the silliest times. How odd it is to be soooo angry because your husband forgot to buy bread or something. I feel it so strong inside over something so small.
It took awhile for me to finally realize that I wasn't angry at the small things. I was angry at my past and it was finally fed up. It wasn't going to allow me to bury it any longer. It wanted its time in the spotlight. It takes on a personality all its own. Thank God I am not a violent person. It comes out through words that I have to apologize for and explain later. Even though lashing out at someone or something that has nothing to do with what I am truly angry at it wrong it feels good to finally let it out. I'm working on a more productive outlet for it.

by Sally Jean on Mar 29 2004

I'm angry at my friends because they didn't believe me. They thought he was nice, attractive and didn't have to use force to get what he wanted. He came ready with drugs, rope and a camera. He was the worst rapist there is...a serial rapist.
I have been going through PTSD for years because my friends convinced me that it didn't happen the way I said it did and therefore there was no rape and no need for help.
That was 22 years ago. I'm finally going to get therapy..

by filoli on Mar 28 2004

I read what has been written, all the feelings, all the emotions and I can relate so much with what you have said and your feelings of pure anger.
My abuse is both incest and sexual assault by my father-in-law. I really am angry, my incidents cost me my marriage. I have always felt cheated out of my childhood and when it happened to me as an adult I just fell apart.
Literally fell apart at the seams and my marriage was lost at that point... Anger probably isn't strong enough word for me personally.


by Baby#1 on Mar 23 2004

I CAN NOT GET OVER THE ANGER I DO NOT KNOW HOW. MY FAMILY KNEW IT WAS HAPPENING AND DID NOTHEN TO HELP ME I WAS ONLY AROUND 6 WHEN IT STARTED AND DID NOT END TILL IWAS 15. I HATE TO ADMITT IT BUT I WISH HE WAS DEAD BECAUSE I KNOW OTHER LITTLE GIRLS ARE GOING THRU THIS AND THE PAIN NEVER HEALS WE JUST LEARN TO HIDE FEELINGS OF SHAME AND GUILT.

by Tammy on Mar 01 2004

A lot of my bitterness to this present day came from my anger in the past. The same anger that sometimes sneeks up on me like a demon in the night, no remorse. Looking ahead towards opening up more in aspects of accepting happiness and love and even emotion in any form is the only thing right now slowly but surely chipping away at that bitter surface of my soul.

by Haullie on Feb 29 2004

I am still so angry but GLAD I can post this here and noone will judge me or think less of me for being honest with my feelings! I am angry that the perps preyed on a deaf helpess innocent child taking away my innocence...I am angry that the freaking teachers would NOT learn how to help ME learn better! I am angry that I've had 2 abusive husbands and will never marry again, will never trust a man again!
I am angry that there seems to be NO counsellors here in southern Indiana who can help me heal further.......I am angry that my folks and my adoptive parents did not protect me better...I am angry that my moms wont discuss it...but my birthmom did before she died. My birth dad is in Germany, we seldom communicate. Oh I'm angry about so much....
Thanks to those who made this WONDERFUL site.....\o/ "lifts hands in thanks and dance"....\o/

by Tee on Feb 11 2004

I am angry about what was done to me. I sometimes feel so frustrated that I could not and did not do anyting to stop the abuse from happening.
I feel powerless and hopeless. Sometimes the anger consumes me and I feel totally out of control. I understand that this anger is normal but how do I get rid of it?
I do write quite bit and that has helped but I feel like I am stuck on a plateau. I am not able to let go of the anger and move beyond it. There is a seething rage and anger in my heart against the abuser.
I still feel infuriated when I remember what was perpetrated on me (which is all the time)! Time is the best healer I guess.

by BB on Feb 09 2004

I have had it!! So afraid to lose control right now. My husband doesn't understand anything, he makes me feel so small. I bought 2 books and he gave me shit for buying them because I didn't NEED them. Books are one of only solaces.
I just want to feel numb, I just want to be free. I'm not a bad person, I'm just aching and lonely. Everyone feels so far away from me, all I can think of is the abuse and I wish I could take everything from the inside and throw it all away.
I'm so tired, I hate my abuser with a passion, look at what he's done to me, and he's still free doing his thing, he should burn in hell.
I don't even trust myself!!! Rage and anger control my day, won't someone out there make it go away?

by Samantha on Gen 13 2004
I am flooded with guilt, I cant make it stop.....its not fair. What can I do?

by Johnnie on Gen 11 2004

I am a victim of years of sexual abuse and I'm angry. My life has been ruined: I can't keep friends or be in an intimate relationship, I trust no one (including family) and I can barely function most of the time.
The worst part is a family member did this to me. My family sees this "person" as a hero, perfect; one who can do no wrong. They constantly shower him with love, praise and attention.
This makes me even MORE angry. I have lost respect and love for them as well. I feel so alone, hateful and damaged. I fear I will never be able to love or be loved. What kind of life is that?? It is a deep, dark secret that poisons, scars and debilitates me to no end.


by Jen on Dec 24 2003

I went through 7 years of abuse as a child and what makes me the most angry is that I can't control this devastating feeling, I've lost myself and I don't have the energy to even play with my daughter. I have majoe problems being in a stable relationship and I always seem to create chaos around me. I'm falling and I can't get up.

by Samantha on Dec 1 2003

Anger....this is an old concept for me, but yet a new one as well if that makes any sense. I have always dealt with anger by crying and sarcasm, neither of which work very well for me.
Crying brings people closer to ask what is wrong, which is exactly what I don't want at that moment, and sarcasm will make them angry at me, something else I don't deal with well. I am slowly learning it is okay to be angry and how to deal with it appropriately.
I am learning to not take things out on myself, either by berating myself or by hurting myself. I am learning other ways to cope.


by Anonymous on Nov 30 2003

I have felt very angry about what happened. I have learned through much counseling that my anger is okay to feel, but that I just need to be more productive in it.
I was so hurt and betrayed by what was done to me; those are very valid reasons to be angry about something.
Its not good to channel that energy towards someone else or yourself in a negative way. Taking the time and writing out all the anger or drawing it etc can really help vent and feel that anger in a positive way. It certainly has helped for me.

by Lindsay on Nov 21 2003

A victim myself, I have, through counseling and telling someone about my victimizaton, a way to fight back and a way to help myself deal with the issues of anger,shame, pain, guilt and self-hate.
I didn't tell no one for a long time and realized I had to, to help myself get better and have a understanding of the impact of rape. I am not totally better but each day is a step closer.
I encourage everyone out there that has been a victim of rape to seek help. Believe it or not, talking about it is good. It helps. I have learned through talking about it my own understanding of it. I have learned there is no making sense in an act such as rape. So you can't make sense out of it. My anger now is towards the criminal justice system that have failed to protect rape victims and that is one of the reasons more victims don't come forward. Because rape victims are not safe and protected and feel secure about reporting the crime. Thank you.

by Tina on Nov 19 2003

I feel so angry because after 11yrs of abuse I finally told someone about what was happeing and all they could do was call me a liar.
I have lost all of my childhood to pervs who couldn't use adults....they had to use me. What angers me the most is that im still paying for what happened but the people that did this to me are getting on with there lives as if nothing ever happened, they dont have to live with the shame, pain or the self-hate.


by Tricia on Nov 18 2003

I am so angry with myself, for not telling anyone, I let him and the others abuse me for so many years, and never said anything.
I get angry as friends say, "why didn't you tell your Mum", the answer is, I don't Know!!
But I didn't, I cannot change that. I get angry with people being so flippant, "it happened years ago, you should be over it by now !".
Not sure, how long it will take me to sort myself out, but I will Heal, whenever!


by Catherine on Nov 18 2003

I am angry-raged at the loss of so many years and the irreparable damage to my very being !
I cant seem to function normally, oscillatingh between guilt and anger with myself and others all the time. Angry cos nobody can truly understand or comprehend why I am the way I am - why cant the people who love me just let me go down... why do I have to strong??!!
I'm tired of being strong, guilty cos I expect them to be strong for what I went through!! Why should they? How can they understand what I am feeling? It's not possible.
So by me getting angry at their lack of empathy I am only makin them feel guilty. It's not right on my part so I feel guilty! A cirlcle of anger, guilt and frustration - its core being PAIN...
I wanna be free.

by Bubs on Nov 17 2003

Anger is such a strange but familiar emotion for the abuse survivor. Sometimes it is the thing that I cling to when I hit the rough parts in life. Yet there are times where I fear it, fear that if I express it I will go into an uncontrollable rage.
I am afraid that my anger would cause me to be unloved and alone. But yet I have every right to be angry at not only what he did to me, but to every person out there who has ever touched a child or worse, in any harmful way.
We need an outlet. Sometimes anger is what gives us that voice that we lack; it is what give us the strength to take care of ourselves.

by Lilea on Nov 16 2003

I am angry because I don't think I did anything wrong, so why am I still paying for it?? The people who hurt us get off scott free and we are the ones who still have to suffer. It's just not fair.

by sandygirl on Nov 16 2003


I've lived my whole life bursting with anger. I was sexually abused by at least three people, the main one my brother. He abused me from the time I was about five until he went to prison . My mother found out but to her it was no big deal, her brother had done the same to her. So I've lived a life of damaging relationships, drug abuse and exploding on anyone and everyone in my path. I started out beating walls, hitting myself in the head as hard as I could and ended up beating my husband. Cognitive therapy has helped some but I've got so many emotional things to deal with that its going to take time. I want to find some kind of help with my anger along with the rest. Thanx

by Dragonlady on Aug 07 2004

I am now 27 and the incident of my abuse started when I was 8 years old. I finally had the courage to tell my mom when I was 11years old and instead of comforting me, she acted like she really did not believe me or that it was not that bad. She also had just borrowed money from the person who molested me and was more consumed with telling me how she wished that I would have told her before she borrowed the money. Well, I immediately felt bad for telling her and like the issue of her borrowing the money was more important than her own daughter's feelings!! She also told me to not tell my dad because he might kill him. As a result, just last November I had a breakdown and told my dad! He seemed to feel very sorry about it but then both my mom and dad continued to celebrate the holidays with him and his wife. I just now am starting to feel very ANGRY for what happened to me and the way it was dealt with! If my mom would have only comforted me and let me cry on her shoulder then I would have probably not be dealing with so much anger, depression, confusion and lack of self-worth that I do now! I myself have a very supportive husband and two children of my own and I am extremely overprotective of them. But, very lucky to have them around me everyday to keep reminding me that I do matter and I am important and LOVED!! It is still very hard and some days are just about too much to deal with but that does along with GOD keep pushing me on toward healing and really being fulfilled, happy and to allow myself to move on!!!......

by innocencelost on Jun 09 2004

Thank you, all of you. 25 years after the abuse, finally I'm getting angry. Rage is SUCH an understatement. I fantasize what I would do to someone I knew was hurting another child. My rage scares me. I've been in therapy for over a year.It's taken me that long to feel safe enough to let it out!

by tracey on Apr 29 2004

There's so much truly "dangerous" anger in me, that sometimes I think I have another personality because I just cannot control the rage; I get to the point where I just want to destroy anything and every thing in sight, or else, I have horrific urges to stab myself with a pen or a similar object, or bang my head on the wall or cut myself with a razor.
Not kill myself, not yet, just hurt, punish, mutilate myself because I honestly hate myself. I feel like there's like, 3 people inside of me: the calm, wise quiet, older, maternal one; the angry, killer one, and the wee girl who never learned how to talk. And then, there's my real self, the one that I think is dumb and stupid, and if I could get my hands on the real self, I'd kill her'cuz she makes so many mistakes and I'm clumsy and absent-minded and ditzy, and I'm afraid that I'll never find the "real" me.
At 51 y/o, my life is already 1/2 over and I've got a 19 y/o son who has as many and as severe disabilities as I do, not one single family member for support(I'm an orphan) and no friends at all. My son feels like I've abandoned him, and I feel like I'VE been abandoned as well. And the perps who have victimized me, years ago, well, it's exactly like Ebeneezer Scrooge with all of HIS ghosts; my perps still affect me, like they can reach from beyond the grave. I'm really scared that I won't get better before I die...they(perps)have robbed us of our childhood, robbed us of our womanhood (because I can't enjoy sex, lovemaking), they've violated us and taken every last ounce of self-respect that I may have had. I have plenty of empathy for everyone else, but I hate myself and I'm explodingly furious over everything....I'm lost in the madness......

by palominomare on Apr 10 2004

I am 25 and after an entire lifetime of pain I am finally ready to have someone help me. However, the one thing I can't get past is the anger.
I am angry for the person I should have grown up to be, the small hollow shell of that women I am now. They took away my life I don't know if I believe that I can work through this.


by Jess on April 06 2004

I have never been an angry person. That is what I thought. The truth is, I was never allowed to be an angry person. Growing up in a volitile home I learned that you had to be nice and quiet. I guess the anger was buried through the years.
After I was raped by someone I knew I buried the anger again. Years later here it is. The anger. It wells up inside and sneeks out at the silliest times. How odd it is to be soooo angry because your husband forgot to buy bread or something. I feel it so strong inside over something so small.
It took awhile for me to finally realize that I wasn't angry at the small things. I was angry at my past and it was finally fed up. It wasn't going to allow me to bury it any longer. It wanted its time in the spotlight. It takes on a personality all its own. Thank God I am not a violent person. It comes out through words that I have to apologize for and explain later. Even though lashing out at someone or something that has nothing to do with what I am truly angry at it wrong it feels good to finally let it out. I'm working on a more productive outlet for it.

by Sally Jean on Mar 29 2004

I'm angry at my friends because they didn't believe me. They thought he was nice, attractive and didn't have to use force to get what he wanted. He came ready with drugs, rope and a camera. He was the worst rapist there is...a serial rapist.
I have been going through PTSD for years because my friends convinced me that it didn't happen the way I said it did and therefore there was no rape and no need for help.
That was 22 years ago. I'm finally going to get therapy..

by filoli on Mar 28 2004

I read what has been written, all the feelings, all the emotions and I can relate so much with what you have said and your feelings of pure anger.
My abuse is both incest and sexual assault by my father-in-law. I really am angry, my incidents cost me my marriage. I have always felt cheated out of my childhood and when it happened to me as an adult I just fell apart.
Literally fell apart at the seams and my marriage was lost at that point... Anger probably isn't strong enough word for me personally.


by Baby#1 on Mar 23 2004

I CAN NOT GET OVER THE ANGER I DO NOT KNOW HOW. MY FAMILY KNEW IT WAS HAPPENING AND DID NOTHEN TO HELP ME I WAS ONLY AROUND 6 WHEN IT STARTED AND DID NOT END TILL IWAS 15. I HATE TO ADMITT IT BUT I WISH HE WAS DEAD BECAUSE I KNOW OTHER LITTLE GIRLS ARE GOING THRU THIS AND THE PAIN NEVER HEALS WE JUST LEARN TO HIDE FEELINGS OF SHAME AND GUILT.

by Tammy on Mar 01 2004

A lot of my bitterness to this present day came from my anger in the past. The same anger that sometimes sneeks up on me like a demon in the night, no remorse. Looking ahead towards opening up more in aspects of accepting happiness and love and even emotion in any form is the only thing right now slowly but surely chipping away at that bitter surface of my soul.

by Haullie on Feb 29 2004

I am still so angry but GLAD I can post this here and noone will judge me or think less of me for being honest with my feelings! I am angry that the perps preyed on a deaf helpess innocent child taking away my innocence...I am angry that the freaking teachers would NOT learn how to help ME learn better! I am angry that I've had 2 abusive husbands and will never marry again, will never trust a man again!
I am angry that there seems to be NO counsellors here in southern Indiana who can help me heal further.......I am angry that my folks and my adoptive parents did not protect me better...I am angry that my moms wont discuss it...but my birthmom did before she died. My birth dad is in Germany, we seldom communicate. Oh I'm angry about so much....
Thanks to those who made this WONDERFUL site.....\o/ "lifts hands in thanks and dance"....\o/

by Tee on Feb 11 2004

I am angry about what was done to me. I sometimes feel so frustrated that I could not and did not do anyting to stop the abuse from happening.
I feel powerless and hopeless. Sometimes the anger consumes me and I feel totally out of control. I understand that this anger is normal but how do I get rid of it?
I do write quite bit and that has helped but I feel like I am stuck on a plateau. I am not able to let go of the anger and move beyond it. There is a seething rage and anger in my heart against the abuser.
I still feel infuriated when I remember what was perpetrated on me (which is all the time)! Time is the best healer I guess.

by BB on Feb 09 2004

I have had it!! So afraid to lose control right now. My husband doesn't understand anything, he makes me feel so small. I bought 2 books and he gave me shit for buying them because I didn't NEED them. Books are one of only solaces.
I just want to feel numb, I just want to be free. I'm not a bad person, I'm just aching and lonely. Everyone feels so far away from me, all I can think of is the abuse and I wish I could take everything from the inside and throw it all away.
I'm so tired, I hate my abuser with a passion, look at what he's done to me, and he's still free doing his thing, he should burn in hell.
I don't even trust myself!!! Rage and anger control my day, won't someone out there make it go away?

by Samantha on Gen 13 2004
I am flooded with guilt, I cant make it stop.....its not fair. What can I do?

by Johnnie on Gen 11 2004

I am a victim of years of sexual abuse and I'm angry. My life has been ruined: I can't keep friends or be in an intimate relationship, I trust no one (including family) and I can barely function most of the time.
The worst part is a family member did this to me. My family sees this "person" as a hero, perfect; one who can do no wrong. They constantly shower him with love, praise and attention.
This makes me even MORE angry. I have lost respect and love for them as well. I feel so alone, hateful and damaged. I fear I will never be able to love or be loved. What kind of life is that?? It is a deep, dark secret that poisons, scars and debilitates me to no end.


by Jen on Dec 24 2003

I went through 7 years of abuse as a child and what makes me the most angry is that I can't control this devastating feeling, I've lost myself and I don't have the energy to even play with my daughter. I have majoe problems being in a stable relationship and I always seem to create chaos around me. I'm falling and I can't get up.

by Samantha on Dec 1 2003

Anger....this is an old concept for me, but yet a new one as well if that makes any sense. I have always dealt with anger by crying and sarcasm, neither of which work very well for me.
Crying brings people closer to ask what is wrong, which is exactly what I don't want at that moment, and sarcasm will make them angry at me, something else I don't deal with well. I am slowly learning it is okay to be angry and how to deal with it appropriately.
I am learning to not take things out on myself, either by berating myself or by hurting myself. I am learning other ways to cope.


by Anonymous on Nov 30 2003

I have felt very angry about what happened. I have learned through much counseling that my anger is okay to feel, but that I just need to be more productive in it.
I was so hurt and betrayed by what was done to me; those are very valid reasons to be angry about something.
Its not good to channel that energy towards someone else or yourself in a negative way. Taking the time and writing out all the anger or drawing it etc can really help vent and feel that anger in a positive way. It certainly has helped for me.

by Lindasy on Nov 21 2003

A victim myself, I have, through counseling and telling someone about my victimizaton, a way to fight back and a way to help myself deal with the issues of anger,shame, pain, guilt and self-hate.
I didn't tell no one for a long time and realized I had to, to help myself get better and have a understanding of the impact of rape. I am not totally better but each day is a step closer.
I encourage everyone out there that has been a victim of rape to seek help. Believe it or not, talking about it is good. It helps. I have learned through talking about it my own understanding of it. I have learned there is no making sense in an act such as rape. So you can't make sense out of it. My anger now is towards the criminal justice system that have failed to protect rape victims and that is one of the reasons more victims don't come forward. Because rape victims are not safe and protected and feel secure about reporting the crime. Thank you.

by Tina on Nov 19 2003

I feel so angry because after 11yrs of abuse I finally told someone about what was happeing and all they could do was call me a liar.
I have lost all of my childhood to pervs who couldn't use adults....they had to use me. What angers me the most is that im still paying for what happened but the people that did this to me are getting on with there lives as if nothing ever happened, they dont have to live with the shame, pain or the self-hate.


by Tricia on Nov 18 2003

I am so angry with myself, for not telling anyone, I let him and the others abuse me for so many years, and never said anything.
I get angry as friends say, "why didn't you tell your Mum", the answer is, I don't Know!!
But I didn't, I cannot change that. I get angry with people being so flippant, "it happened years ago, you should be over it by now !".
Not sure, how long it will take me to sort myself out, but I will Heal, whenever!


by Catherine on Nov 18 2003

I am angry-raged at the loss of so many years and the irreparable damage to my very being !
I cant seem to function normally, oscillatingh between guilt and anger with myself and others all the time. Angry cos nobody can truly understand or comprehend why I am the way I am - why cant the people who love me just let me go down... why do I have to strong??!!
I'm tired of being strong, guilty cos I expect them to be strong for what I went through!! Why should they? How can they understand what I am feeling? It's not possible.
So by me getting angry at their lack of empathy I am only makin them feel guilty. It's not right on my part so I feel guilty! A cirlcle of anger, guilt and frustration - its core being PAIN...
I wanna be free.

by Bubs on Nov 17 2003

Anger is such a strange but familiar emotion for the abuse survivor. Sometimes it is the thing that I cling to when I hit the rough parts in life. Yet there are times where I fear it, fear that if I express it I will go into an uncontrollable rage.
I am afraid that my anger would cause me to be unloved and alone. But yet I have every right to be angry at not only what he did to me, but to every person out there who has ever touched a child or worse, in any harmful way.
We need an outlet. Sometimes anger is what gives us that voice that we lack; it is what give us the strength to take care of ourselves.

by Lilea on Nov 16 2003

I am angry because I don't think I did anything wrong, so why am I still paying for it?? The people who hurt us get off scott free and we are the ones who still have to suffer. It's just not fair.

by sandygirl on Nov 16 2003




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